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J LIBRARY OF CONGRESS.] 

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5 UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. J 



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GRACE 

<f illiug an ®ar%« Wmtl 
WITH GLORY: 



LETTERS OF^J^ 

EACHBL W.^GEEEK 



** The Glory which Thou gavest Me, I have given them." 

John xvii. 22. 
" Unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ not only to brlieve 
ou Him, but also to suffer for His sake." — Phil. i. 29. 



r EDITED BY 

Wr'^R. CARROLL, 

Assistant Minister, St. Paul's, Phila. 




PROTESTANT EPISCOPAL BOOK SOCIETY, 

V 

IN 

PHILADELPHIA; 

1224 Chestnut Street. 






Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1860, by 

W. R. CARROLL, 
in the Clert's Office of the Eastern District of Pennsylvania. 

S. D. Wyeth, Stereotyper. 



^P k^ i) 



? 



Collins, Printer. 



€k €^m^ nf (0nJr; 

' Elect according to the foreknowledge of God the 

Father^ througli sanctification of the Spirit^ 

unto obedience and sprinkling of 

the blood of JESUS;" 



THIS LITTLE BOOK 

IS 

DEDICATED. 



' He will ever be mindful of his Covenant.''^ 

Psalm cxi, 5. 



INTRODUCTION. 



The Bible contains many precious, and 
wonderful records of Grod's dealings witli 
His people. Their sins and infirmities, their 
doubts and fears, are there set forth as so 
many warnings ; their trials and difficulties, 
and the wonderful manner in which, they 
were sustained under, or delivered out of 
them, are recorded for the encouragement 
of all Christians. All this was designed to 
testify to tlie Covenant faithfulness of the 
Lord our God. 

The value of such memorials to those 
who are still in the wilderness is very 
great. 

It is with a like design that the follow- 
ing letters are published. The only object 
aimed at, is that Grod may be glorified, and 
His Church edified. I am sure that no 
Christian can read this memorial of a de- 
1* 



VI INTRODUCTIO]S". 

parted saint, without receiving instruction, 
encouragement, and support. Its perusal 
will tend not only to '' strengthen those 
who stand, and comfort the weak-hearted," 
but will also demonstrate what abundant 
and ready help there is in Jesus^ for all 
those who may be in tribulation or distress. 
When we consider that the following let- 
ters were written by a poor sewing-girl, to- 
tally devoid of education, and then mark 
the extraordinary depth of Christian expe- 
rience, the exalted piety and unswerving 
faith, which they exhibit; we cannot but 
admire, and bless God for the grace by 
which she was taught. These letters run 
through a period of ten years, and though 
some are incomplete; sufficient has been 
preserved to reveal a character of no ordi- 
nary strength. We are led to think, as we 
read, what might have been, had God in his 
sovereign disposal of all things, seen lit to 
bestow upon his child, those earthly ad- 
vantages of society, and education, which 
serve to train the mind. And yet, '' Just as 
in jewelry, men reject the massive mount- 
ing, and cumbrous ornamentation, which 
hide and disfigure the Gem, and choose 



INTEOBUCTION. Vll 

rather the most simple, and plain setting 
•which gives prominency to the diamond 
rather than to that which encloses it : — so 
in setting the jewel of his grace, God leads 
us ever to look away from the form, and 
fashion of the earthen vessel to the treasure 
it is privileged to contain." 

In the case of this poor girl, the plain- 
ness of the casket, only renders brighter 
the brilliant enshrined there. And we are 
ready to exclaim at the close of each letter, 
*^Hath not God chosen the poor of this 
world, rich in faith, and heirs of the king- 
dom which he hath promised to them that 
love him?" 

No material alteration has been made in 
these letters in preparing them for the 
press. The/r5^ two are given without any 
correction whatever, for the purpose of 
showing how little Eachel Green was in- 
debted to educational training. The re- 
maining letters have been corrected in the 
spelling, and a few sentences which were 
mere repetitions have been omitted. This 
is all that has been done in the way of al- 
teration. 

A few notes have been added calling at- 



Vm INTEODUCTIOJSr. 

tention to the force and accuracy of lier 
expressions of faith and hope. 

When these letters were first received, 
the beauty and force of expression, the 
dejDth of Christian experience which they 
exhibited, combined with the orthographic- 
al errors, and the known condition of the 
writer ; raised doubts as to their being the 
original productions of Eachel Green. And 
lest the same feeling should arise in the 
mind of any who may read them, we here- 
with publish an extract from a letter of a 
well-known and worthy fellow-citizen, at- 
testing their authenticity, to which the 
reader's attention is called. He ever re- 
mained a firm friend of the poor sufferer, 
and she often alludes to him in her letters. 

We are sorry that we are not at liberty 
to publish in full the name of this gentle- 
man. 

These letters wou.ld have been published 
nine months ago, but for an intimation then 
given that the author of the extract just 
alluded to, was in possession of a number 
of letters, &c., and designed publishing them 
for the benefit of Eachel's family. How- 
ever, on mature consideration, and now with 



INTRODUCTION. IX 

the approbation of that gentleman, it is 
judged best to publish, these fragments, in 
all their simplicity, just as they came from 
Eachel's pen. They may become in the 
hand of our God productive of much com- 
fort and consolation to his people. We 
know they need all the consolation and en- 
couragement they can get. We feel sure 
they cannot interfere with any larger and 
more elaborate history which may hereafter 
appear. 

It is to be regretted that so few particu- 
lars of her early life and history have been 
preserved. The biographical sketch is ne- 
cessarily very brief. And yet we feel that 
if she could now bend down from her happy 
home, she would say, *'Let no praise of man 
be carved upon my tomb ; let the only re- 
cord of me be, ^This is a faithful saying, 
and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ 
Jesus came into the world to save sinners ; 
of whom I am chief? " 

I believe this little book may be read with 
profit by ministers, Sunday-school teachers, 
the more advanced scholars, and all private 
Christians, especially those in affliction ; and 
considering, as I do, these letters to be a 



X INTRODUCTION. 

most valuable, and precious testimony to 
the grace, love and faithfulness of Jesus ; I 
cannot but thank God, who has, by means 
of Christian charity, (love,) on the one 
hand; and gratitude on the other, brought 
to light this glorious example of the triumph 
of our common faith. And I do believe 
that if there were more of this i^actical com- 
munion of saints ; the Church at large would 
be permitted to see more of the glory of God 
than it now enjoys. 

Praying the Lord to use these letters for 
the purpose of glorifying the name of his 
Son Jesus ; let us all heartily join in these 
beautiful and appropriate words, '^ We also 
bless Thy holy name for all Thy servants 
departed this life in Thy faith, and fear; 
beseeching Thee to give us grace, so to fol- 
low their good examples, that with them 
we may be partakers of Thy heavenly king- 
dom. Grant this. Oh Father, for Jesus 
Christ's sake, our only Mediator and Ad- 
vocate. Amen ! W. E. C. 



INTRODUCTION. XI 

Extracts from Mr. 's Letter. 

Philadelphia, May 29, 1850. 

Dear Madam: 

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ When I took the liberty 
of calling on you last summer in relation to 
the case of Rachel the daughter of Catherine 
Cope, it was with the view of obtaining 
some information about her. 

The circumstances of her case were so 
strange that I felt a little apprehension that 
all might not be as it seemed from her let- 
ters, and what I heard from a person who 
knew her in Baltimore. I have taken every 
means to search out the particulars, regard- 
ing her character and condition. I find to 
my entire satisfaction that every thing is 
true, while my heart is pained to think that 
so much as relates to her sufferings and 
penury is true. A medical gentleman has 
been attending her for the past six months 
with great kindness and liberality ; and let- 
ters which I receive from him as well as 
from a gentleman who has visited Eachel 
at my request, lead me to understand, that 
while there is every thing estimable in the 



Xll INTRODUCTIO]S". 

character of the woman, her condition is 
one of great suffering and extreme want, 
and that her sufferings, and the disease 
under Ayhich she is manifesting a wonder- 
ful spirit of resignation, are much aggra- 
vated, by the necessity under which she 
lies of working both by day and night. 

% ^ ^ ^ ^ J have no hesitation in 
saying that her letters contain the most 
extraordinary exhibitions of humility, and 
elevated piety, of elegance of expression, 
and powerful thought, that I have met with 
during a period of more than twenty-five 
years' reading as one of the Committee of 
Publication of the Sunday- School Union. 
In fact, I do not know, where they are to 
be equaled, but in the writings of the most 
distinguished authors of the last century ; 
and such is the opinion of gentlemen of the 
highest literary character in this city 

To permit such a person to suffer from 

the want of what is essential to life cannot 

be, and I have only waited to be satisfied 

that there was no deception in the case. ^ * 

Your ob't servant. 



Pago 
Introduction, v 

Extract from Mr. 's letter, xi 

Biographical Sketch of Rachel W. Green, - - 15 
Letters, -- 25 



BIOGEAPHICAL SKETCH. 



The design of this sketch, is to present 
the following letters in an intelligible as- 
pect to the general reader. It is of neces- 
sity very brief, but it is just as well that it 
should be so ; for we do not care to make 
'^the vessel" too prominent. Our desire is 
rather, to call attention to Jesus ^ and his 
grace, of which it was privileged to receive 
so abundantly. 

Some thirty years ago, or thereabouts, 
when the subject of this sketch was a mere 
child, she lived in Philadelphia with her 
mother Catherine Cope, who was employed 
in one or two respectable families as a kind 
of under servant. It is interesting to know, 
that during this time Eachel received some 
Sunday-school instruction, although we 
cannot point to any truth imparted there, 
as being instrumental in her subse 
quent conversion. It appears from what 

(lb) 



16 BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH. 

we can learn of her at this period, that 
there was nothing remarkable about her as 
a child. She seemed on the contrary to be 
rather uninteresting, and of a peevish dis- 
position. Her mother removed to Balti- 
more while Eachel was yet quite young, 
and followed the business of a huckster in 
the market of that city. Poor, ignorant, 
and uneducated herself, she permitted her 
child to grow up totally uncared for in this 
respect, and having no thought for God: 
Eachel was, as might be expected, left in 
total darkness with regard to the knowledge 
of Him, and his ways. But, the Shepherd 
was watching over this ^^lost sheep," and it 
is very interesting to note how she was 
^'returned" or brought back to Him who is 
the Bishop, and Shepherd of souls. 

At a suitable age, she seems to have 
helped to support herself, and her mother, 
by sewing in some Eoman Catholic families 
in Baltimore. In a letter giving a brief 
account of her conversion, she says, ^^From 
a child I had a desire to be a member of 
some Church, not for the benefit I expected 
to derive from its services, but because I 
thought it respectable to be a church mem- 



BIOGKAPHICAL SKETCH. 17 

ber. At an early age^ I became acquainted 
with some Eoman Catholic families. These 
seemed to suit my proud heart, for among 
them I could mix in, conform to, and par- 
take of the world as much as I chose. I 
soon became a full member of that Church, 
and a dupe to all the idolatry connected 
with it. I grew one of the most bigoted, 
superstititious, persecuting creatures. As 
for charity, I had none, nor did I want any 
except for Catholics." 

So deyoted did she become, and obedient 
to the commands of the Priest, that she was 
distinguished by being "anointed" in the 
Cathedral of Baltimore, and was placed 
under the patronage and protection of St. 
Eebecca ! 

Somewhere about this time she was mar- 
ried to a man named Green. Here also she 
was destined to taste the cup of sorrow, for 
her husband proved worthless, and soon 
deserted her. But, the time was approach- 
ing when her Maker was to be her husband, 
and her Eedeemer, her patron, and her friend. 
She was emphatically chosen in the furnace 
of affliction, yet, even when the fire was 
hottest, and the billows most boisterous, 
2* 



18 BIOGEAPHICAL SLETCH. 

she ever found that He had a hand ^^ mighty 
to save,'' as her letters abundantly testify. 

It was New Year's Eve^ 1843, when she 
and some young Eoman Catholic friends 
entered a Methodist prayer-meeting in Bal- 
timore, for the purpose, as she says, of 
''making game," and endeavouring to in- 
duce young people to join the Eoman 
Church. She saw these Christians kneel in 
prayer, and whilst upon her knees with 
them, the following thoughts passed through 
her mind. '' These people pray to God him- 
self, pleading the merits of ^ Jesus only!' 
Why do they not first address the Virgin 
Mary, through her Christ, and through him 
God ? They seem to believe God will hear 
them. Perhaps they are right. If so, then 
I am wrong." She left that prayer-meeting, 
restless and disturbed in soul, for God's 
Spirit had laid his hand upon her ; and for 
one long month suffered much and sore an- 
guish of mind. Towards the end of that 
time she found peace and joy in believing, 
having counted the cost, and determined to 
suffer persecution, if need be, for her Sa- 
viour. Speaking of the Bible at this pe- 
riod of her history she says, ^'Like all 



BIOGKAPHICAL SKETCH. 19 

other CatholicS; I knew nothing of its 
blessed contents. Had I any one to direct 
me to the Book of all books, I would soon 
have learned the cause of my distress." 

Eight months after her conversion she 
became unable to walk, and was bedridden. 
From this point commences her long and 
hard, but profitable course of study in the 
school of Christ. Her sickness extended 
through a period of fifteen years. She was 
laid on her bed eight months after her con- 
version, and for five years suffered more or 
less, according as her diseases became more 
and more complicated, before her condition 
and wants were made known to her friends. 

She was aflicted with cancer of the stom- 
ach, enlargement of the heart, and paralysis 
of the lower extremities, and must have 
suffered most intense and excruciating pain. 

It was at the end of these first five or 
six years of suffering, and about the open- 
ing of the year 1850, that her case came to 
the knowledge of her own and her mother's 
early friends and benefactors in Philadel- 
phia, and that she commenced to write 
these letters. As soon as it was ascertained 
that there was no deception in the case, and 



20 BIOGEAPHICAL SKETCH. 

that all was just as had been represented, 
she received constant and regular assistance. 

How sweet to such, even to all who were 
permitted to have even the least part in al- 
leviating the sufferings, and supplying the 
wants of this child of God, must the assur- 
ance be, ^^ Inasmuch as ye did it to one of 
the least of these my brethren, ye did it 
unto Ife." 

God is a sovereign. He acts, orders, and 
permits, and gives no account of his mat- 
ters; but he does all things well. The 
minds and gifts of his children are very 
various, in order doubtless that his mani- 
fold wisdom thus exhibited, may be seen 
as light is when decomposed by passing 
through a transparent medium, in some- 
thing of its varied and wondrous beauty. 
We know that God ^^ created all things by 
Jesus Christ, to the intent that now unto 
principalities and powers in heavenly places 
might be known hy the Church the manifold 
wisdom of God.'^ 

He saw fit to give to this poor girl a 
mind of no common order, but withheld the 
education necessary to develope it in this 
stage of being. Doubtless it will be luis- 



BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH. 21 

troTis with glory hereafter. In proof that 
Rachel's was a fine mind, I need but refer 
to her letters. And here it is worth while 
to mention this fact : it was after she had 
been on a sick bed that she learned to 
write. Pen, ink, and paper, with a diction- 
ary, were furnished by one of her kind 
Christian visitors, and it was thus she 
learned to spell out^ with many mistakes, 
her eloquent letters. But, "it is written, 
they shall be all taught of God^ 

She continued writing to her kind friend 
in Philadelphia for ten long years, and 
when she had passed away, having laid 
aside the pen, and sorrow, and suffering, for 
the harp, and the golden crown, and the 
joy of her Lord, it was thought well to 
publish these letters. It will be seen from 
them, how gradually her disease, or rather 
complication of diseases, destroyed her mor- 
tal body; and also how wonderfully she 
was sustained. 

The letters Nos. vii., x., and xiv*, are very 
remarkable, and deserve attention; indeed 
all are worthy of it. It is very seldom that 
we meet with such an exhibition of faith 
and resignation to the will of God. 



22 BIOGEAPHICAL SKETCH. 

She died early in the year 1859. Her 
last letter is dated January 1st of that year. 
Enclosed in it was a slip of paper, on which 
was written, ^' Good-hye ; I am going homeP 
Doubtless they were words of joy to her ; 
for she hnew in whom she had believed, and 
had tested his faithfulness in many a dark 
and stormy hour. Going home! Aye, 
blessed thought ! — going to enjoy the cove- 
nant ordered in all things, and sure — going 
to take possession of an inheritance incor- 
ruptible, undefiled, and that fadeth not 
away — going to a kingdom, and places pre- 
pared from the foundation of the world — 
going to sit down at the marriage-supper of 
the Lamb — going to meet brethren and sis- 
ters, and make up one of God's gY%2X family 
— going to hear, " Come, ye blessed child- 
ren T — going to see Jesus, as he is — going 
to be ever with the Lord! 

Yes, this is to go home ! 

** Lord, I would be near thee — with thee where thou art. 
Thine own word hath said it, * It is better to depart ;' 
There to serve thee better, there to love thee more, 
With thj ransomed people to worship and adore. 
Ever to thy presence thou dost call thine own — 
Here thou art with them alwavs— they are never left 
alone, 



BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH. 23 

But there to see thy glory ! — thy wondrous love to 

know; 
Loose, Lord, the cords that chain me — loose, and let 

me go 1" 

Oh God! we pray thee *' shortly to ac- 
complish the number of thine elect, and to 
hasten thy kingdom." And grant that we, 
and all thy people, may live and die in 
the '^blessed hope," and prospect of ^^ going 
home." Grant it. Lord, for Jesus' sake! 
Amen ! W. E. 0. 



LETTBES OP EACHBL W. GEEBN. 



[uncorrected.] 

Letter I. 
Baltimore^ January 2d^ 1849. 
Dear Madam The phywsician begins this 
day to put me under a regular corse of 
physick. I can and do but trust in God, 
he will order all right mye mother is very 
ancious to hear from you. she thinks you 
must be sick, if it is not too much truble 
and you are able^ a few lines would bee 
verye thankfully Eeceived bye us. since 
began to write this 2 lardge absesses has 
bursted. one near mye heart the other in 
mye side, I thought mye Eeleas had come,"^ 

* It win be seen from the next letter, that at this 
time she had been suffering for five years. Her re- 
lease, as she calls it, was t^n long years before her. 
And although she had to wait midst very uncommon 
suffering her Lord's time, still she found it to be good 
to wait. It may be set down as an axiom in tht> 
Christian's experience, that waiting time, although ifc 
may be a hard time, is always a profitable time. 

(25) 



26 LETTERS OF 

but it is gods will for me to suffer longer. 
Amen, not mye will but thine bee done, 
maye mye sufferings bee sanctified to mye 
good and tbe glory of God. 

Dr Metcalf is tending me tbrongb the 

grate kindness of Mr. . lie says tie 

never saw one person afflicted with so many 
different deseases at once, he sayes it is 
the most distressing case he ever seen, 
with mye bad spells he gives more speedye 
Eeleaf than anye physician that I ever had, 
though as yet he has no hope that he can 
do anye thing for me more than tempoarye 
Eeleaf he seems fearful to do scarselye 
anye thing, for he sayes what would do 
good in one deseas might kill me with the 
other. I seem to think he will do me more 
good than he antisapates though he tells me 
he cannot give the smallest hope. Is not 

Mr. very kind to interest himself in 

behalf of so poor a girl, god will Eeward 
him. I can but pray for mye kind bene- 
factores, and this will I do while life or 
Eeison last. Dear lady I fear you will not 
like mye saying so much, if I had more 
knowledge and better education I could 
then convaye my meaning without saying 



EACHEL W. GEEEN. 27 

half so mucli, but as it is I must saye a 
gratdeal to convaye little meaning, you 
will I hope excuse mye freedom of speach. 
I love to speak of things consearning mye 
souls wellfare and foreget that I am not 
writeing to mye equels in station, please 
make alowance for mye ignarance. to 
speake truth I am most ashaimed to write, 
for I have no learning whilst you have 
much and cannot help but see errars that 
another would not, but what the lord gives 
me to saye that I write in all sincerity and 
simplisitye of heart. I send this by Mr. 
H. we sincearlye hope that you are in 
good helth. my love to you and yourse 
I am dear Maddam 

your humble servent 
Eachel. W. Geeen. 



Lette E II. 

[UNCOKEECTED.] 

Baltimore, June 28, 1849 
Dear Madam I fear you think me verye 
ungrateful for not acknowleging your most 
jenerous guift at an earlier time, but the 



28 LETTERS OF 

causes are as follows, hearing from motlier 
that one of the yonng ladys laye yerje ill I 
thought it best to wait until the famlye be- 
came setled. the next since I have been so 
verye ill myself, for some length of time I 
did not know even my Mother, and I now 
offer yon the thankful acknowledgments of 
a grateful he^rt for your kind favor be- 
stowed on me. it has pleased the grate 
head of the church to afflict me deeplye ; 
and why dose he do so. because he de- 
lights in suffering, no. oh no. because it 
is beest for me to suffer, he alone knows 
what is good for us. the will of the lord 
be done in me is all I. desire, he deals 
most kindly to wards me. indeed his love 
and tendirness to wards me very far exceeds 
mye suffering. I desirve a much harder 
fate, truly if I had but my own Eightous- 
ness to Eecommend me to the favour of god 
I might well dispare of ever entering that 
rest wich Eemains for the peple of god. 
but thanks be to him who gave his only 
begoten son that whosoever belie veth in 
him should not perish but have everlasting 
iifC; I have an divine intersessor who ever 
pleads for me at gods Eight hand, he alone 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 29 

is my worthyness my Eightonsness my all 
and in All. I can but cast myself at the 
foot of the cross and there plead his merits, 
thank god I have this privleg. some saye 
to me, yon trye to love and sirve god, whye 
dose he cause you to suffer so much, dose 
he not saye whome I love I chesen and 
scurgeth everye son (or daughter) whome 
he Eeciveth, and what are these light afflic- 
tions compared to the glory wich shall bee 
Eeveled in us. and others again saye to 
me (and I am sorrye to saye those who pro- 
fess to be christians) if he see good to afflict 
your bodye, why cause you to suffer so 
much more bye warking. whye dose he 
not provide for you in some other waye. I 
tremble when thye speak thus, who are 
we that we should Eeason with the al- 
mighty, is he not the grate I Am, I thank 
my heavenlye father that he has not taken 
away the use of my hands, with that of my 
feet, though at times at short itervals mye 
Eight hand seems to be quite dead. I have 
now been confined to the bed near five 
years. 4 years I have not stood on my feet, 
this is the lords doings and to manye it is 
marvalous in their eyes, thaye do not seem 
3* 



so LETTERS OF 

to Eemembir that god is to wise to err and 
to good to be unkind.'^ I thank him that I 
am willing to suffer all his Eightons will, 
grace has done much for me. thank god 
he ceeps from me a spirit of Eepineing. it 
is all the lord ; bless his name I can look 
foward in the full assurance of faith to that 
rest wich is Eeserved for the children of 
god. I am but a pilgrim I seek a citye 
whose bilder and maker is god. all that I 
desire is that these sufferings maye be sanc- 
tified to the good of my soul^ the glory of 
god and the benefitt of his saints, of whose 
number, by his grace I hope to be, and 
finely through the merits of Christ be ad- 
mited into his kingdom of everlasting Eest. 
for many weeks I have not been able to 
wark. this goes hard with me and my 
heavenly father only knows when I will be 
able to do anye thing, do something I 
must trye when I possably can, for my 
Dear Mother is not able to suport me. if 
at any leasure time you will honnor me 
with a few lines I would be very thankful. 



* It is evident that Rachel had learned hy hearty 
Phil. i. 29. 



RACHEL W. GEEEN. 31 

please excuse my bad writings as I tave to 
write king dwon. I hope you will make 
everye alowance for mye verye limited edu- 
cation, with mye thanks I subscribe 
myeself your thankful and humble 
survent 

Eachel. W. GtKeek. 



Letter III. 

Baltimore^ Nov, 6, 1850. 

Dear Lady: — I must apologize to you for 
not having written sooner. I can assure 
you that it has not been wilful neglect ; but 
inability to do as I very much desired^ and 
you justly deserved. 

I cannot describe how much I suffer. It 
is known only to my Heavenly Father. I 
hope you will excuse the dull strain in 
which I write; my mind has been much 
depressed for some days, and I must say 
that I write more from duty than pleasure. 
Satan has not forgotten that I am weak. 
He is not yet willing to give me up ; but 
'^ desires to have me, that he may sift mo 
as wheat." 



32 LETTERS OF 

Thank God, the waves have not yet gone 
over my head ! Hitherto my Saviour has 
defended me from the merited billows of 
divine wrath. Though I have much to try 
and perplex me, besides my affliction, I be- 
lieve all is ordered by an unerring Provi- 
dence, and I have no desire bnt that the 
will of God may be perfected in me. What 
saith Christ ? ^^ In the world ye shall have 
tribulation : but be of good cheer : I have 
overcome the world." This should be 
enough to make us bear all things joyfully: 
but, alas, it is not so with me ! I seem to 
mourn over those things which I should 
leave with Him who has hitherto cared for 
me ; and I act so inconsistently, that I am 
a mystery to myself. I ask God to give 
me a sight of my imperfections ; but when 
he does so, it presses me down to the earth ; 
and were it not for the view I get of the 
atonement,^ I should sink beneath my load 

* Truly there is no teacher like God the Holy 
Ghost. Doubtless this poor girl, if asked, could not 
have given a critical definition of the word atonement, 
fi. e., a covering, and that for sin,) and yet she had 
the experience of it. *' In the Hebrew it literally sig- 
nifies ' covering,^ and not such a covering as if we 



EACHEL W. GKEEIS'. 33 

of impurity. Unworthy as I ani; God is 
continually loading me witli favors, and his 
goodness is ever passing before me. I often 
fear that my soul may be left in darkness, 
and I to the will of mine enemy. At times 
Satan appears to be let loose in all the 
power of his temptation, and assaults while 
I am ready to faint, and say with the 
Psalmist, '^ Is his mercy clean gone for- 
ever ?" But, shall I repine at God^s will ? 
God forbid ! I mourn my unfaithfulness. 
My will he made — shall he not give 
laws to his creature? Did he make my 

were to take a material thing, and spread it over any 
thing, in order to hide it from our view. You remem- 
ber that when Noah was told to make the ark, he was 
commanded to 'pitch it within and without with 
pitch.' He was to cover it with a bituminous sub- 
stance; which was to keep out the weather and the 
water. Now this is the very same word — it signifies 
such a covering as shall be adhesive. This is the 
atonement for the sinner, the covering for his sin. 
From the root of this word, the word ' mercy-seat' 
is derived. That mercy-seat which was to cover the 
law ; that mercy-seat where God said he would meet 
with His redeemed, His accepted, His reconciled people. 
This is the idea of the Atonement. The covering by 
Atonement is that which we have in Christ. It is 
such a covering as shall never he taken off.'''* 



84 LETTERS OF 

hand to strike at himself? My tongue to 
speak^ or my will to rebel against liim ? I 
am a dependent creature — in Him I live and 
move and have my being ! I am an expect- 
ant creature — Is the way to obtain my will 
of Him, to deny the homage of my will to 
Him? I am a sinful creature — have I not 
guilt enough already, that I should swell 
the account by murmuring against his all- 
wise providence. I am an accountable crea- 
ture — he is my Judge. I am a recoverable 
creature — he is my Saviour. Shall I, then, 
be angry with any of his methods toward 
making these things concur in my salva- 
tion? 

To be redeemed from the tyranny of my 
own will and appetite, is no small part of 
my redemption by Christ. Did he give 
himself up to death for me, and shall I 
think it too much to give my will up to 
him ? Shall I, the redeemed from thraldom ^ 
dispute the orders of my Redeemer ? Shall 
I, the servant, dispute the will of my Mas- 
ter? Or I, the subject, say to my King, 
what doest thou? Eather let me say, 
'* What wilt thou have me to do, or 
suffer?" Can I be his friend upon any 



EACHEL W. GEEEN. 35 

other terms, than by doing whatsoever lie 
commands me? And if I go to Him, as a 
child to his father, must I not add, thy will 
he done ? Whether we submit to his will, 
or not, his ^'counsel shall stand." If it be 
an act of homage, I have a reward, or my 
submission has ; but if it be merely because 

1 cannot help it, I have only sorrow for my 
pains. Blessed be my Head, Christ, I have 
no desire to murmur at his will ! Oh no ! 
/ love to suffer,^ (only the child of God can 
understand this,) because I know it is the 
will of Grod, and that he sends it in much 
love for my particular good, and perhaps 
for that of others. Every pain is really 
needful, and great as my afflictions are, 
they are not so great as my sins, nor such 
as I deserve. I am undone of myself; but 
Jesus lives — he is my Advocate with the 
Father ; He is worthy. When I read that 
he himself said, '^ I come to do thy will, oh 

"^ Rom. V. iii. It is a most blessed and exalted 
state of experience when we can say this. This is set 
down as one of our covenant privileges. And we can 
easily understand how tribulation becomes a privi- 
lege, and that in which we glory, by meditating on 

2 Cor. xii. 9. 



36 LETTERS OF 

God !" Who or what am I^ that I should 
speak any other language? His infinite 
perfections — what language do they speak? 
He is infinitely wise, and cannot err : in- 
finitely powerful, and cannot be resisted: 
infinitely holy, and cannot behold iniquity 
without abhorrence: infinitely good, and 
cannot do wrong : infinitely true, and can- 
not falsify his word. To his will all the 
world complies: why then should not I? 
If there were no Providence, we should 
want one of the best antidotes against the 
fear of what is to come, and sorrow for what 
is past ; then, (as Bishop Patrick observes,) 
all the care would be on us ; and surelv, it 
would be too much for us :^ but when we 
think of infinite wisdom, as well as infinite 
power governing all things, we need not be 
in trouble, as if ourselves or chance had 
the government. Some have persuaded 

* It is beautiful to trace the Spirit's teaching in 
tliis child of God. Here she touches on the blessed 
truth of the responsibility of Christ for the welfare of 
his people. '* Other sheep 1 have which are not of 
t /lis fold. Them also 7 wusi bring," &c. The Chris- 
tian who fails to recognize Jesus as " The responsible 
One^^'' necessarily suffers often from discomfort. 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 87 

tbemselves that it is in vain to be troubled^ 
since things must he ; but it is cold comfort, 
to be content from raere necessity: that 
was what the heathen comforters afforded. 
Thank God, we have something better! 
The world is not governed merely by the 
will of God, but also by his goodness and 
wisdom. He disposes of all things, not 
only as an absolute lord, that we may be 
sensible of his power, but also as a loving- 
father, that we may feel his goodness. I 
am (as well I may be) ashamed of distrust- 
ing for the future. Oh ! why do I suffer 
the enemy to depress me thus ? Why do I 
suffer temporal things to distress me ? I 
do not wish to murmur, and I am willing to 
wait God's will ; and yet, I am often so de- 
pressed that my body sinks, and one day's 
anxiety causes me the keenest suffering for 
a week or more. Thank God ! I do not 
know that at any time for the last three 
years and a halfj my own will has had the 
pre-eminence,'^ It will at times strive for 



^ 1 Thess. V, 23, 24. How clearly does this ex- 
pression show that this text was being fuliilled in 
Rachel's case. Blessed experience I 
4 



38 LETTERS CF 

the mastery ; but by tlie grace of our Lord 
Jesus Christ, I can gladly lay it aside, and 
let that of God take its place. If I were 
goyerned by my own will, it would ruin 
me, for it is perverse, sensual and devilish ; 
but when I know that I am governed by 
Him who cannot err, then welcome the 
cross, since Jesus bears the heaviest part. 
I could not bear it alone. Oh how deep 
the waters have been for the past two 
weeks ! Even now, were I to make feeling 
a criterion to go by, I would conclude that 
I had no part nor lot in the matter, no in- 
terest in a Saviour's blood : but religion is 
a ^nr^cipZe^ planted in the soul; and I. be- 
lieve that if I am faithful, God will do as he 
has often done before — cause these dark and 
lowering clouds to burst in blessings on my 
head. If it is the will of God that I shall 
always grope my way, without one ray of 
light to cheer my pathway, I believe I can 

■^ Very true. Dr. Chalmers caUed it tlie expulsive 
power of a new affection, or principle. It is more. 
It is the participation of the communicable life of God, 
and which makes the regenerated sinner a more dig- 
nified creature than an angel. Compare John x. 28 ; 
1 John i. 1-3 ; Gal. ii. 20 ; 2 Pet. i. 4. 



EACITEL W. GEEEN. 39 

say, ''Amen, so be it! It is the Lord; let him 
do as seemeth to Mm good. All things shall 
work together for good to them that love God, 
to them who are the called according to his 
purpose :" but if my mind should be depressed 
as it has been for some days, I do not think 
that I CO aid live six months ; so deep a 
hold does any thing like anxiety take of me. 
Satan has scarcely been absent for one mo- 
ment from my mind for the past two weeks. 
He is always suggesting, accusing or tempt- 
ing me. If he cannot cause me to sin, he 
strives to make me unhappy : and I must 
confess that he often succeeds in rendering 
me really miserable. Oh! when shall I 
learn to be wise ? The Lord upholds me ; 
or I should long since have fallen, to rise 
no more. Please remember me at the 
throne of grace. '^ God is love." 

Vill you thank the Misses W , who 

remembered me in their charities ? They 
were very kind ; and with a full heart I 
thank both them and yourself for your 
kindness. May Almighty God bless and 
reward you all ! I cannot find words to 

express myself to Mr. for his interest 

in me : I refer him to God. I have but 



40 LETTEES OF 

one way of doing any thing in return for 
what I receive^ — I can only offer yon all np 
at the throne of grace. 

I never suffered such constant or severe 
pain as now. The whole trunk of my body 
is in one continual agony. In the last ten 
days, I have had one hundred and ten differ- 
cat 2^l(^ces burnt in my back with a red hot 
iron ; and my stomach is very large with 
the return of water, which the doctor says 
increases much. 

I cannot tell what my Lord intends to do 
with me^ nor does it give me much concern ; 
so that I may glorify him, suffer all his 
blessed will; and at last gain admittance 
into his kingdom. 

Please remember me to Mr. J. P. Wo 
We will be most happy to receive a line at 
your leisure. I fear there is some part of 
this writing that you will not be able to 
read, particularly the latter part of the sec- 
ond sheet. As it is, / have been since Wed- 
nesday at it; and it is now THREE o'clock 
Friday morning. I am obliged to sit in 
my chair every night until this time ; some- 
times getting a few hours' sleep, and often 
none. I suffer much in lying down, 



BACHEL W. GEEEN". 41 

for I am very tender and sore, and my bed 
is not very soft. I sometimes sit in my 
chair with pillows ; but this, too, hurts me. 
It can't be helped, however. 

With many, very many thanks again, for 
your kindness, I subscribe myself 

Your humble servant, 
Eachel W. Q-reen. 



Letter IY. 

Baltimore^ March 9, 1852. 

My dear Friend: — Once more, by the 
mercy of God, I am privileged to write you 
a few lines, hoping that yourself and family 
are well. 

It is impossible for me to say what my 
sufferings are. I often think that I cannot 
stand them much longer. This is not a 
question of impatience; for I am willing to 
suffer all that God sees best, and as long as 
he sees best ; but it really seems strange 
that I can undergo so much. I have not 
the shadow of a doubt, God has a wise end 
in view, and means all for blessing. If it 
is not, it will be my fault, and not my 
4* 



42 LETTEES OF 

Lord's. Mj mind is as prostrate as my 
body. A stupid languor pervades all my 
powers ; and I have had much to contend 
with from my secret enemy, who ''desires 
to have me, that he may sift me as wheat;" 
but Jesus has prayed that my faith fail not; 
and if he protects, none can harm me. 
Though I am depressed and languid, my 
trust is in God. He has done and suffered 
much for me, and is not ashamed to say, 
" I spilt my blood for thee.'' 

It grieves me to think how unfaithful I 
have been ; how little I have improved my 
privileges, and done for him, who has done 
so much for me. What poor use I have 
made of* his kind corrections; yet in all 
how does his goodness close me round ! 

It is his goodness"^ that overwhelms me, 
and sinks my soul in the dust of siame. 
Oh ! what love is extended to sinful man, 

'^ Ezra ix. 6, &c. Yes, it is the experience of every 
Christian heart, who knows the ways of the Lord. 
They need not fear or be ashamed for sins, the blood 
has washed them all away. But the goodness of our 
God — unceasing, exhaustless, abounding as it is — 
this it is which overwhelms the Christian with amaze- 
ment, knowing as he does how inadequately he ap- 
preciates it. 



EACHEL W. GEEEN. 43 

that we should dare anticipate a home in 
heaven ! 

** There is a heaven above the skies, 
A heaven where pleasure never dies : 
A heaven, I sometimes hope to soe, 
Yet often fear 'tis not for me." 

But why should I fear, while I have 
God's word for it ? My great desire is to 
live to his glory. I am not so anxious about 
dying ^ as living ; for if I live aright, Grod 
will not forsake me in death. We are too 
apt to consider the Almighty as a God of 
power only, and forget his love^ hindness, 
and compassion, I believe that if the cha- 
racter of Christ was more considered, that 
Christians would get along better ; for we 
would see so much excellence and beauty 
in Him, that our whole aim would be to 
imitate him. It grieves me, that I am so 
little like that blessed Saviour whose name 
I bear ; and I often ask myself, What do I 
serve God for ? Is it that I fear hell, or 
that I expect God to reward my services ? 
Why do I desire to be like him ? Is it 
because he has said, without holiness I can- 
not see his face ? NO; blessed be the Lord, 



44 LETTEES OF 

I serve liim because I love Ms ways ; and 
because I love him, do I desire to be like 
liim. I have often thought that even if 
there was no heaven in view, I would still 
love and serve the Lord : every thing that 
leads to him is dear to me. Oh! that I 
might, with Mary, sit at his feet and learn 
of him. Blessed privilege, to trust him at 
all times, and pour into his willing ear our 
complaints and sorrows, finding a heavenly 
balm for every wound ! I have ever found 
the Lord to be a ''very present help in 
every time of need." Praise his name ! the 
time is fast approaching when you and I 
will be safely housed with him in glory: 
then how small, how a 'inert nothing j will all 
our trials appear ; and how we shall won- 
der that we ever distrusted Him, or were 
so careless in securing such bliss. It is for 
Jesus' sake God bears with us. He was 
undefiled in every part: I am defiled in 
every part. But he knows what poor, weak 
creatures we are, and ^^ ever liveth to make 
intercession for us." His precious blood 
atoned for aM our guilt. Oh, for grace al- 
waj^s. to trust the mercy of God the Father, 
throuo'h oar Lord Jesus Christ ! 



EACHEL W. GEEEN. 45 

I trust, dear madam, that your soul is 
prospering — daily growing up into Christy 
who is your living Head, your place of re- 
pose, your rock of defence, your life, and 
your crown of rejoicing. May you be lost 
in love, glorifying your God below, that 
you may praise him in heave q ! 

** Come, let us anew our journey pursue, 
With vigour arise ; 
And press to our permanent place in the skies. 
Of heavenly birth, though wandering on'earth, 

This is not our place ; 
But strangers and pilgrims ourselves we confess." 

I thank you for the kind regard you ma- 
nifest for my mother. She is much better, 
and sends her love to you and the family. 
•je- -jf ^ 7f J have been troubled a good 
deal for some days past. My sister lias had 
part of the house with us since her mar- 
riage. This made a low rent of five dollars 
and a half per month ; but she is now going 
to herself, and I do not know how I can get 
along — rents are so high, and small houses 
scarce. Mother cannot do much ; and when 
she is able to go out, I cannot be left alone. 
I know Grod will provide a way for me ; 
still, I cannot help feeling worried about it. 



46 LETTEES OF 

Please remember me to your kind bro- 
ther^ and the Misses W . I should, if 

convenient, like to hear from you before the 
first of May, as we then expect to move. 
If I live, I will write soon again. 

With many thanks for your kindness, I 
subscribe myself, 

Your humble, but thankful servant, 

Eachel W. Geeejst. 



L E T T E K Y. 

Baltimore, April 21, 1852. 
My dear Friend : — Again I take up my 
pen to write you a few lines. The good- 
ness of the Lord still follows me ; yet my 
mind is quite depressed, and I have need 
to exercise strong faith. Surely I have had 
full proof of God's faithfulness and care. 
He comforts my soul, and suffers not mine 
enemy to get the advantage ; and I have 
good hope of a safe entrance into the city. 
Our journey home is made more pleasant 
and comfortable, by reason of the admirable 
provisions that are laid up for us by the 
way ; and all at free cost. We are feasted 



EACHEL W. GREEN. 47 

all the day long, and bronglit into the ban- 
queting-house, where we are made to feel 
that nothing is wanting to complete our 
happiness, except glory itself. ^ ^ -^ Since 
my sickness, I have been brought several 
times so under the power of God, that it 
seemed as if I must die. I had no excited 
feelings ; for it happened either when I was 
alone, or when some one had been praying 
with me. I have been for one or two hours 
in such a cold, senseless state, that some 
persons thought I was dead. I think it was 
owing to the weakness of my nervous sys- 
tem, for my body felt the effects for some 
days afterwards. I cannot say that I crave 
this, although many of my Methodist friends 
judge of their spiritual state by similar feel- 
ings. I believe that much of it is were ani- 
mal excitement. 

May the Lord ever keep me at the foot 
of the cross — make me know my character 
as a sinner, and Christ as a Saviour. May 
I mourn, because sin, the cause of evil, 
dwells in me, and yet rejoice that Christ is 
in me, the hope of glory. This is the 
riches of the glory of God's mystery made 
known in the Gospel, and enjoyed by faith 



48 LETTERS OF 

— this is the victory that overcometh the 
world; even out faith. It is not of our own 
hegetting ; it is the gift of God. We are ever 
ready to listen to the suggestions of Satan, 
forgetting that Ave rob our souls of their 
peace, and the Lord of his glory. I often 
wonder that I ever listened to this enemy 
of souls ; for I never yet found any benefit 
from parleying luith doubts and fears. We 
should ever bear in mind, that however 
much loe may change, God chamges not: his 
promises are as sure at one time as another. 
Oh! I blush to think how slow I am to take 
him at his word, and place implicit confi- 
dence in him as my Shepherd and my Grod. 
He bears with me, only because ^^his com- 
pgLssion fails not." When I look at what he 
has done for me, both in a spiritual and 
temporal sense, especially within the last 
three years, I am made in thankfulness and 
astonishment to exclaim, '^Lord, who or 
what am I, that thou shouldst deal thus 
v.dth thy servant ? Then he quickly gives 
me to see that he does all for Jesus' sake, 
and not for any deservings of mine. 

Praise the Lord! my march is still on- 
ward and upward, and the language of my 



RACHEL W. GEEEN. 49 

heart, *^ Whom have I in heaven but thee ? 
and there is none npon earth that I desire 
besides thee." Christ is indeed a goodly 
portion. May I be enabled to cleave more 
closely to him! I believe that he con- 
descends to take np his abode in my heart ; 
and he, who thus comforts and blesses me, 
'shall have the sonl he died to win. 

* ' Let the world account me poor ; 
Having CJirist, I want no more." 

My mother is not well. She sends her 
love to you and the family, hoping that you 
all are well. I am sure that no one more 
ardently wishes so than myself. Please re- 
member me to the Misses . I thank 

them very much for their kind remembrance 
of me, and pray that Grod will reward them, 
both in this life, and that which is to come. 
Eemember me also to your kind brother. 

We have been moved almost a month. 
It never hurt me to move so much before. 

I hope, dear Madam, that I shall hear 
from you soon. With many thanks, I re- 
main, 

Your humble servant and great debtor, 

EaCHEL W. GtEEEIn'. 



50 LETTERS OF 



Letter VI. 

Baltimore, July 24, 1852. 

My dear Friend: — I take my pen in 
hand to acknowledge the receipt of your 
kind letter dated the 6th, received the 23d. 
I thank you very much for letting me hear 
from you, and also for your bounty. 

We were so sure that something was the 
matter, that mother went to the hotel, to 

see Mr. W ; but he had gone out, and 

she was not able to go again. I know that 
I have no right to expect any thing from 
any one ; and I receive your great kind- 
ness only as a/ree gift^ for Jesus' sake: and 
although none know so well as I, how ac- 
ceptable your generosity is, yet I would 
love to hear from you at all times, and as- 
sure you that it is yourself I love. I loved 
you before you wrote to me, for my mother 
has always been careful to inspire our 
hearts with gratitude towards those who 
had so befriended her. And now, after 
your kindness to me in my needy, suffering 
state, surely I do not love you less. You 



KACHEL W. GREEN. 51 

have been a kind friend to me, and I have 
no doubt that you will find the truth of the 
declaration, '^It is more blessed to give than 
to receive.'' 



August 11th. 

My letter is long in getting finished. It 
has been impossible for me to complete it 
sooner. I have tried, but in vain. 

As my bodily sufferings increase, so do 
the consolations of Christ. Eeligion brings 
solid comfort to the heart, and precious 
balm to the wounded spirit. To know that 
I am a child of Grod, extracts the sting from 
every suffering : to have the light of His 
countenance, and be embraced in the arms 
of His love, is a foretaste of heaven to my 
soul, and brings eternal rest within my 
view. "With so many precious promises, 
how can we suffer our hands to hang down, 
or our hearts to faint ? One would think 
(and with good reason) that the remem- 
brance of God's unchangeable character 
would keep us always rejoicing J^ Let the 

* Phil. iv. 4. Aye : In the Lord, not in ourselves, 



52 LETTEES OF 

thouglit that Christ's eye is fixed on us, ani- 
mate us to follow the example of the wo- 
man of Canaan, and trust his mercy, believe 
in his love, and look for a smile from his 
gracious countenance, though he may seem 
to turn away from us. Why do I not at all 
timeS; and under all circumstances, trust 
more implicitly to the great love wherewith 
Christ has loved me ? When the mind is 
gloomy, we are too apt to gaze on the dark 
cavern within, and pore over our misery; 
we look at the hody of sin, instead of Him 
who ''bore our sins in his own body on the 
tree." Why not always feel, with Micah, 
'' When I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be 
a light unto me. He will bring me forth to 
the light, and I shall behold his righteous- 
ness." 

If, instead of looking despondingly at 
the sin within, we carefully meditated upon 

nor anything wrought in ourselves. God's character 
is the only safe and comfortable spot for the eye of 
faith to rest on, the only pledge of our safety. God's 
character ! The man who does not know God as he 
has revealed himself iii Christ, does not know him at 
all. For, ''No man hath seen God at any time: the 
only-begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, 
he has revealed Him.''^ 



RACHEL W. GKEEN. 53 

some passage of our blessed Saviour's his- 
tory, we should often have reason to ex- 
claim, '' God is the Lord, who hath shown 
me light ;" and we would desire more ar- 
dently to be bound as a living sacrifice to 
the horns of the altar, with the cords of 
gratitude and love. 

I am such a poor creature — so ready to 
doubt ; so apt to look heneath, when I 
should look above; so ready to judge of my 
spiritual state by my feelings. Oh! for 
grace to trust in the Lord always. I can- 
not, as I once could, throw off unpleasant 
thoughts : a very little thing will sink my 
spirits, and make me surmise a hundred 
things for which there is no foundation. I 
am ashamed; yet it seems impossible to 
help it. Thank God ! I have a hope founded 
on Scriptural grounds, Jesus Christ himself 
being the chief corner-stone. 

The day is fast approaching when all 
these trials shall be done away; when faith 
and hope shall be changed to sight ; when 
I shall rest in the bosom and paradise of 
God, to come thence no more. ^ ^ * -^^ I 
will soon be obliged again to undergo the 
dreadful process of moving. We had to 
5* 



54 LETTEES OF 

take the first place motlier could get; and 
thouglit we could make out here ; but it is 
impossible. There is but one room on a 
floor, about four yards long, and three and 
a half wide ; no cellar, and the yard very 
small; "with the walls ready to fall from 
dampness. But I so dread moving; it hurts 
me so much; and then, it costs something 
to be taken from one place to another — 
an expense I am very poorly prepared to 
meet. ^-H-^-jf-jf^f^^ 

Eemember me to your kind brother^ and 

the Misses W . I still remain. 

Your very humble, but thankful 

servant, 
Eachel W. Geeejst. 



Lettee y II. 

Baltimore. Dec. 27, 1852. 
My dear, kind Friend: — I expect that 
you think it time that I had answered your 
kind letter, and acknowledged your gener- 
ous gift. We were very thankful to learn 
that you were well ; for my mother places 
some confidence in dreams, and feared you 



EACHEL W. GREEN. 55 

were sick, because she had dreamt of you 
for several nights in succession. How often 
she wishes she could do as she once could, 
that she might be your servant while life 
should last but she cannot stand much 
now. 

I thank you for this fresh token of kind- 
ness. You have indeed been kind to me. 
I feel my unworthiness ; but He in whose 
name, and for whose sake you give, is all- 
worthy, and will at last say, 

** Of me thou bast not "been ashamed : 
These deeds shaU thy memorial be, 
Fear not, thou didst it unto me." 

Methinks that these words alone will be 
considered by you sufficient reward; but 
this will only be the leginning of glory. 
As you once observed, in a letter to me, — it 
must cause a delightful emotion, to give in 
the name of Jesus. I often think, how little 
the worldling knows of the enjoyments of 
the Christian, even in this life; and here 
we only have a foretaste of bliss. I find 
nothing wearisome or grievous in the ser- 
vice of God: on the contrary, ^'his ways 
are ways of pleasantness, and his paths are 



56 LETTEES OF 

paths of peace." There is nothing here 
which deserves my joy ; nothing like my 
God. Having taken Christ as our portion, 
we know that in Jlim we receive all things ; 
and though the surface of the soul may be, 
and often is, agitated by the storms of life, 
still the centre is peaceful. Christ is there, 
saying to the boisterous waves of sorrow, 
^^ Peace, be still !" and immediately there is 
a calm — such as can only he found in the 
Crucified, I think that the children of God 
are often unhappy^ when they should be re- 
joicing : Sit least, it is the case with myself. 
I look at the past and the present — at my 
depraved nature, until I feel depraved in 
every part.^ Now, admitting this to be so, 
to the utmost extent, why should I be dis- 
couraged ? With the depravity of our na- 
ture tve have nothing to do, Christ has made 

* There is a great depth of Christian experieDce 
here, and it is an uncommon experience. It reminds 
one of what the good Mr. Cecil once said, — ^^You 
cannot look hack without going hack;^^ meaning, I be- 
lieve, that when we rake up our past sins and past 
transgressions, it is impossible not to act them over 
again in thought. Self-examination, in this view of 
it, is most likely to be an unprofitable thing. Scrip- 
tural self-examination we have in 2 Cor. xiii. 5. 



EACHEL W. GKEEN. 57 

ample atonement for all^ If lie had not, 
our repinings would avail little. Just here, 
has often been a difficulty with me, and, I 
doubt not, with many others. I look at the 
vileness of Rachel GreeUj instead of looking 
at the meritorious person of Jesus of Naza- 
reth, Christ does not say, look at your 
vileness, your helplessness, your unfitness 
for heaven, but ^'Look unto me, and be* ye 
saved ; all the ends of the earth." When 
we can lose sight of self even our vileness, 
and see nothing hut Christ, we shall be 
happy. When I look at His loveliness, I 
have no time to dim my vision with the 
dark and misty picture of the depravity of 
my nature, which the enemy of souls would 
bring before me. Oh ! for grace to throw 
whatever may be self away, and take up 
Christ fully. Blessed be God! it is our 
privilege to ahide in Him. ^ * ^ ^ Jf 

* This grand truth has been beautifuUy expressed, 
thus : — 

** A meek believer in the name of Jesus, 
Through him I feel no terror for my sins. 
Vast as they are, they trouble me no more. 
Their price is paid in full ; and I may call 
God whom I've outraged, evermore my friend P^ 



58 LETTEES OF 

we would only believe that God can make 
us happy in Himself — if we would only 
trust him, in the exercise of a simple gospel 
faith — we should rejoice with joy unspeak- 
able, and full of glory. If God had said, 
Perform some painful act, and you shall be 
saved, how readily would we do it : but, 
this simply helieving^ taking Him at his 
word, and trusting Him, lecause of His 
word, the heart of man turns away from, 
through its very simplicity. Thank God for 
the gift of faith! It is a precious gift in- 
deed. 

I believe mine is on i\iQ increase. Al- 
though my services are lame, and my pro- 
gress slow, still I am advancing — trying to 
follow on to know the Lord. I strive daily 
to gain some new conquest in the name and 
strength of the Lord my God ; but if He 
does not give the power, what can I do ? 
I have no might of my own. Blessed be 
his name! all needed help is freely of- 
fered. ^ ^ ^ ^ 

Since I last wrote, I have been permitted 
to enjoy much of my Saviour's presence. 
He is to my soul, ^' the fairest among ten 
thousand, and the one altogether lovely." 



RACHEL W. GREElSr. 59 

He makes the rough path smooth, pleasant; 
and joyous. He makes the meanest hut a 
palace rich and rare. The poor and un- 
lettered may possess the true riches^ as well 
as the scholar or the man of wealth. Bles- 
sed be the Lord ! the proclamation runs 
thus : ^^ Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, 
and thou shalt be saved." 

If ever a soul enjoyed the presence of 
the Grodhead, I did this afternoon, while at 
prayer. Oh ! it is good to '^ wait upon God^ 
and pour out our souls before Him." I 
have had such a view of his goodness to 
me, a vile sinner, that my whole soul seems 
drawn out in praise and thanksgiving. 
*' Praise the Lord, O my soul; and all that 
is within me, praise his holy name !" 



Letter VIII. 

Baltimore^ March 10, 1853. 

My dear Friend : — Thank God, I am 

once more permitted to write you a few 

lines. This has been a severe winter with 

me, as regards suffering. Oh ! none but 



60 LETTERS OF 

God, and myself, knows tlie pain of this 
poor body ! And yet I live, a burden to 
others. The trouble I cause to kind 
friends often makes me wish to die. Deep- 
ly do I feel the extent of your kindness, 

and that of Mr. . What can I do in 

return? only pray for you — which I do 
with all my heart ; and I believe that God 
will hear and answer my feeble requests. 
It is a blessed privilege to be permitted to 
approach the throne of grace, on behalf of 
those who are kind to us. 

God still condescends to comfort my 
soul ; and blessed be his name ! I am kept 
from murmuring thoughts. I feel my re- 
bellious heart often striving for the mas- 
tery; and I fear that I grieve the Holy 
Spirit; but I can say, hy the preventing grace 
of God, that I do not, will not, partake of 
sin icillingly'^ or knowingly. This is the 
Lord's doing, I have nothing, of myself, to 
boast. ''God forbid that I should glory, 
save in the cross of our Lord Jesus 
Christ !" 

* Romans vii. 20-23. "Now if I do that I 
would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that 
dweneth in me," etc. 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 61 

This is a pleasant tlieme : — 

*' Oh! for such love, let rocks and hills, 
Their lasting silence break." 

This is a never to be exhausted store^ a 
never to be fathomed depth ; and yet it is 
so little dwelt upon, in conversation among 
Christians. I am often pained, especially 
on the Lord's day, when several persons are 
in my room, to hear them take np any sub- 
ject, rather than religion ; and yet, I fear 
that I have often given countenance to this 
unprofitable, if not really sinful, habit. 

For some days, my mind has been much 
depressed by suffering, and the low state of 
my nervous system ; yet the Lord has not 
forsaken me, and, blessed be his name ! I 
am learning to walk in darkness^ as well as 
in light. It is a glorious thing to lose one's 
self in God ; to have no will but His ; to 
think, speak, act and desire only in co- 
operation with Him who ruleth in heaven 
and earth. Then, and not till then, do we 
know what we may enjoy, even in this valo 
of tears. It is because we are so easily 
satisfied^ that we enjoy so little. If we can 
only believe our sins for given ^ we are con- 



62 LETTEES OF 

tent to stand still. Stand! did I say ? This 
cannot be. The work of grace is a pro- 
gressive work, beginning at conversion, and 
stopping only at death. We must either be 
gaining or losing ground. 

Truth cannot suffer from investigation. 
Darkness alone can obscure its native love- 
liness ; and the only drapery it seeks, to 
ornament and beautify its features, is the 
pure, unsullied garb of light. The volume 
of revelation unfolded by the Spirit of God 
is the only source from whence light can 
come. And why do we search so little in 
this pure fountain ? Because, in too many 
instances, some secret bosom-sin is cher- 
ished ; and we fear to come to the light, 
lest our false peace should be disturbed. 

Man, at first, abused his liberty, and fell 
from the high and holy eminence he occu- 
pied, into the deep abyss of ruin. Having 
forfeited the favour of God, he lost his 
image; and deformity has followed his pos^ 
terity, down to the present time. 

But a sacrifice has been offered, a ransom- 
price has been paid to, and accepted by, our 
justly-offended Maker ; so that God can be 
just^ and yet justify the ungodly ; and we 



KACHEL W. GREEN. 63 

can come loldly to tlie tlirone of grace, in 
the name of Him who bore our sins, ^ * -^ 

Oh ! for an increase of faith — a firm, 

abiding trust in that God, who never turns 

• a deaf ear to the earnest cry of a suppliant. 

May you, my dear friend, enjoy all that he 

is willing to give. 

I crave an interest in your prayers, that 
I may be made all that God would have 
me be ; that I may lie submissively beneath 
the chastening rod of my kind and indul- 
gent Father. 

I trust that you already begin to see that 
good seed has been sown, in the education 
of your grand-children. May it bring forth 
much fruit ! 

Mr. was so kind as to send me the 

likeness. There is another, I would give 
any thing to possess. You may judge 
whose it is. I suppose it is natural to wish 
to see those who have been kind to us ; but 
my desire is not vain curiosity'^ — something 
deeper makes me wish for it. ^ "^ ^ "^ 



^ This reininds us of the story of a little deaf and 
dumb boy, whose mother died while he was in an 
Asylum, at a distance from home. In the hour of his 



64 LETTEES OF 

Please remember me to the family. My 
best love to you and the dear children. 
Praying that God may richly bless both 
you and yours, 

I remain, 

Your humble servant, 
Eachel W. Gkee]^. 



Letter IX. 

Baltimore^ May 18, 1853. 

My dear Friend: — Through the mercy 
of an indulgent God, I am again permitted 
to write. 

Most severely have I suffered since you 
last heard from me. For some days I could 
scarcely open my eyes, the pain in the eye- 
balls was so violent ; but to-night they feel 



own departure, soon after, he took a looking-glass, 
and gave a yearning look at liis own face, and then 
contrived, by the nsual signs, to explain his motives, 
before he gave up his spirit. " The boys said mother 
was so like me; SiUd^ I want to know her, when I meet 
her in heaven."^^ 

Some feeling, akin to that expressed in the last line, 
appears to have been in the mind of Rachel. 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 65 

better. So I thought I would write, if it 
was but a little. 



20th. 

You will perceive from the two dates of 
my letter, that I was only able to write a 
few lines. I hope now to finish it^ although 
my back and side are unusually painful. 
To suffer^ seems the common lot of humani- 
ty; but the hope which the child of God 
enjoy S; sweetens every bitter. If we stand 
fast in the time of trial, always pressing 
forward, we may hope to attain unto the 
i^ind of Christ, and grow up to the measure 
of the stature of his fullness. We are not 
to depend upon ourselves, nor look to our 
own power for support in the sorrows and 
trials of life ; but to Him who is both able 
and willing to make us abound in grace, 
and the fruits of the Spirit. This should 
encourage us to rest in God, Has not the 
soul enough when it has God for its por- 
tion ? If God he ours in covenant^ that em- 
braces all things, 

I believe that God sometimes sends us 
6^ 



66 LETTERS OF 

great and sore troubles, that we may have 
more experience of his love and wisdom, in 
our support and deliverance. Tlie time is 
near, when, instead of complaining at the 
greatness and singularity of our trials, we 
shall magnify the wisdom of God in guid- 
ing so many sons and daughters through 
trihulation to glory. 

Then we shall be made to say, like those 
in Mark vii. 37, ^^He hath done all things 
well." Why should affliction trouble us ? 
How long did the suffering of our blessed 
Saviour last? There was no end to his 
sorrow, until ^^ he cried with a loud voice, 
and gave up the ghost." Though he was 
the Son of God — very God, and very man 
— from the hour of His birth, till the mo- 
ment of His death ; from the manger to the 
cross, his sufferings increased ; and He died 
in gloom. We should remember, that our 
afflictions are a part of Christ's cross, "^ 
jwhich our blessed Eedeemer has contrived 
■for our good, and appointed for us, to bear 
{after him. He hears us up^ and the cross too, 

"^ Is there no encouragement and consolation here 
for the Christian ? Afflictions part of Christ's cross I 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 67 

It is said that ^^ Jacob served seven yeaxs 
for Eachel ; and they seemed unto him but 
a few dayS; for the love he had to her." 
Shall we, then, not endure a few years of 
suffering for our Lord, if He calls us to it ? 
If I know any thing of my own heart, I 
can answer, Yes, blessed be my Father and 
my Grod ! 

I am often grieved, when I think of my 
poor, unfortunate husband, and the dread- 
ful sin in which he lives. There is no 
wound so deep as this ; and even for thisj re- 
ligion has a sweet and healing balm. 

When I reflect on the goodness of God 
to me, I am overwhelmed with a sense of 
my ingratitude to Him. What more can I 
ask, than God has already done for me, ex- 
cept it be a greater conformity to Himself? 
God is my Father, Jesus is my Saviour, 
the Holy Ghost is my Sanctifier : I have 
kind friends, who provide for my temporal 
necessity. 

Would I not, then, be the most unthank- 
ful of all his creatures, did I suffer one 
complaining thought to find lodgment in 
my heart, or to escape my lips ? 

Oh! the Lord has done much for me. 



68 LETTERS OF 

It is all of grace; and were that grace with- 
drawn, I should be vile indeed.^ What am 
I out of Christ ? What could I do or bear 
without His free grace? He is my strong- 
hold, my sure defence. '^ Whom have I in 
heaven but thee ? and there is none upon 
earth I desire beside thee." ^' My heart 
and my flesh faileth; but God is the 
strength of my heart, and my portion for 
ever." Oh ! that glorious hope which lifts 
the soul far above this present state of trial, 
to that of glory and bliss. I shall soon be 
free from this cumbersome clay, safe in the 
bosom of God ! 

May you and I meet in heaven, and there 
talk over the wonders of His providence 
and grace, and join in the rapturous song 
of '' Glory to God and the Lamb !" 

My mother sends her love to you, your 
children, grand-children, and all the family. 
My father can hardly see. I think that he 

* Some one has weU said that the breast of the 
Christian man is like an ant-hill upon which a stone 
has been placed. As long as the pressure remains, 
all is quiet ; but let it be removed but for a moment, 
and again all is activity. So, it is with our hearts. 
God's grace is the stone, the pressure. 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 69 

will go blind, as all his family have done, 
at his age. This would be a heavy afflic- 
tion to us all ; but if it would be the means 
of bringing him to Christ, I should be truly 
thankful for the visitation. ^ ^ ^ ^ 
My love and thanks to you, my dear 
friend. That heaven's choicest blessings 
may be continually lavished upon you, is 
the prayer of your 

humble servant, 
' Eachel W. GrEEjST. 



Letter X, 

Baltimore^ July 19, 1853. 
My dear Friend : — I sometimes fear that 
you will think me negligent or ungrateful, 
because I do not write oftener. The will is 
not in fault, but the body. It is impossible 
for me to say how painful is the ordeal 
through which I am called to pass! But it 
is the Lord — shall I receive good at His 
hands, and not evil? or, in other words, 
shall I receive only those things which are 
pleasant, and not those which the flesh 
shrinks from ? The language of my heart 



70 LETTEES OF 

is, ^' Let tlie Lord do witli me; as seemeth 
to him good." I love Him, and all He 
either bestows or permits. I know that 
human nature cannot desire suffering ; but 
^'all things shall work together for good to 
them that love God/' — all things! Does 
not this all things embrace what God infiictS; 
or permits to befall those who love our 
Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity? I thus 
construe it ; and I thank God for leaving 
this ALL THINGS ou record. He is as surely the 
God of love when he withholds j as when he 
hestoius. He acts in unerring wisdom and 
love to his children. It is very pleasant to 
know that He is the Euler and Disposer of 
the universe, and that nothing can overtake 
us without his permission. ^ ^ ^ ^ 
My mind is not so comfortable as I wish. 
I would love to have a clearer evidence of 
my acceptance with God. I have been de- 
prived of this for some time ; but it is not 
essential to my salvation, God's word re- 
mains the same; and I have abundant cause 
to praise Him that he enables me to rest in 
His word. Indeed I very often believe, 
because / icill believe, and love to believe ; 
and I often pray, because it is a duty — for 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 71 

I have no sensible answer to my prayers, 
and my heart appears hard, unfeeling, and 
cold. 

But; though my feelings are varied, I 
find the word and promise always the same. 
I know that God is the revjarder of faiths 
whether I come into the immediate enjoy- 
ment of the benefits I desire, or not. 

The question is. Am I serving God with 
full purpose of heart ? and not. Am I in a 
joyous frame f Do I devote all my powers 
of soul and body to Him ? and not, Do I 
have sensible answers to prayer ? Do I de- 
sire and strive to be conformed to His will? 
and not, Does my faith produce joy? God's 
people have peacej though they may not 
have joy. The foot of the cross is the saf- 
est place to be. 

When every feeling of the heart forbids 
belief, when Satan tempts, and trials roll 
round us, as the waves of the sea., threaten- 
ing to go over our heads, sweeping us down 
to eternal despair, there is a conflict before 
the soul can rest in God's word. But I 
know that word cannot fail; and when I 
walk in darkness, I will stay my soul upon 
One who has promised not to leave me nor 



72 LETTERS OF 

forsake me. Blessed be his dear name ! I 
love his ways ; I love Him for what he is 
in Himself ; for his own excellence. 

I motirn over my unfaithfulness to that 
God who has ever been so good to me ; and 
when I think of his love^ his patience, and 
long-sLiffering, I am covered with shame 
and confusion. I really wonder that he did 
not long ago cut me down, as a cumberer 
of the ground ; and then, I remember that 
He '"'delights to show mercy," and that I 
have a precious Intercessor above. Still, I 
am not satisfied with my present attain- 
ments. Past blessings do not suffice. I 
desire to go on from one degree of grace to 
another, through the Holy Spirit working 
in me the works of holiness. 

I love thQ plan of salvation: it just suits 
such a sinner as I am. I am dissatisfied 
with nothing but myself; and I hate nothing 
hut sin. 

My dear, kind friend, you can never 
know how my heart goes out for those who 
have bestowed so much on me. It seems 
sometimes, as if I could take hold of the 
very heavens for them. 

What a privilege is prayer ! I fear that 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 73 

it is too often looked upon, and entered into, 
only as a duty; and not as a hlood-hought 
privilege. It is at tlie mercy-seat tliat 
Jesus pours down upon our heads the oil 
of gladness. 

** There, there on eagle's wings we soar, 
And sin and sense seem aU no more ; 
And heaven comes down, our souls to greet. 
And glory crowns the mercy seat !" 

May yoU; my dear Madam, ever enjoy 
*' the fullness of the Gospel of peace !" 



Letter XI. 

Baltimore. Aug, 11, 1853. 
My dear Friend : — In his all wise provi- 
dence, and infinite mercy, God yet spares 
my unprofitable life. It seems to me, that 
I am the most useless of beings. I lie 
here receiving all good, and imparting none, 
God deals graciously, and often bountifully 
with my soul ; and I would willingly im- 
part to others, of that which I receive. 
But how shall I do it ? What can such a 
7 



74 LETTERS OF 

poor, ignorant creature do ? But I will not 
complain. God has laid me aside ; and if 
I can do nothing else^ I can suffer with pa- 
tience. He will enable me to do this, for 
his grace is all-sufficient. He assures me 
now of his favour, and I will wait in hope, 
until I am brought into actual possession 
of an ^inheritance incorruptible, and that 
fadeth not away." Thank God ! there re- 
maineth a rest to his people — a rest where 
labour is sweet, "^ and every movement a 
song — a rest well worth suffering for. May 



* Rachel seems to have had the same idea of rest^ 
heavenly rest, as Richard Baxter. 

' ' Rest is not quitting 
• The busy career ; 

Rest is ihe fitting 

Of self to its sphere. 

" 'Tis the brook's motion, 
Clear without strife — 
Fleeing to Ocean 
After its life. 

*' 'Tis loving and serving 
The Greatest and Be'^>t ; 
'Tis onward — unswerving ; 
And this is true Rest /' 



EACHEL W. GREEN". 75 

the Lord enable me to contend manfully, 
being girded with the whole armour of God ; 
having on the breast-plate of righteousness ; 
and above all, the shield of faith, without 
which piece of armour, we can accomplish 
little. Although we hold it with only a 
trembling hand, we must have it, ^^The 
race is not to the swift, nor the battle to 
the strong," but to those that endure unto 
the end. The Lord is my strength and my 
Eedeemer. I have nothing to expect or 
hope out of Christ ; but in him all I need 
or desire. 

I am moving heavenward; slowly indeed, 
but still advancing. Oh! how great is God's 
mercy to me. What have I, that I have 
not received freely and unmeritedly ? God 
is my strong tower, and my refuge ! 

I begin to feel that my warfare will soon 
be over, when I shall see him whom my 
soul loveth — yes, see that Saviour who 
reached out his arms of redeeming love, 
and opened his side, to take me to his 
heart; whose hands were pierced to em- 
brace me ; whose feet were nailed to the 
cross^ to lead me in the path of holiness ; 
whose head was wreathed with thorns, that 



76 LETTEES OF 

mine might wear a crown of glory; whose 
body was robed with scorn^ that I might be 
robed with His righteousness. What more 
could Jesus have done for me ? And yet, 
I do not love Him as I ought ! Oh, that he 
would enable me to love all else, as though 
I loved not, in comparison with Him who 
bringeth salvation to the guilty sons and 
daughters of Adam. 

I daily find new beauties in Christ, to 
draw me after Him; and am displeased with • 
myself, because I keep at so great a dis- 
tance from Him; yet I praise his grace, 
that he inclines me still to follow on. My 
watch-word is, ^^ upward and onward!" 
The more I have, the more I want of 
Christ : the nearer I approach the end of 
my race, the more I see His infinite full- 
ness, and desire to be filled therefrom. Oh ! 
that I were swallowed up in God. I mourn 
over my leanness, yet I have every cause 
for thanksgiving ; for, where would I have 
been, had God dealt with me according to 
my deserts ? — where neither hope or mercy 
could ever come, bewailing my misery in a 
hopeless eternity, without one ray of light 
to cheer my dungeon of ruin and despair ! 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 77 

Praise hi's name! that '4n the midst of 
wrath, he remembered mercy ;" and I am 
blessed with a sense of his presence here, 
and a joyful hope of a blissful immortality 
beyond the skies. 

We hope, my dear friend, that yourself 
and family are well. ^ -^ -J^- ^ ^ Is 
it not strange, that when we pray regularly 
for any one, we should feel such a love and 
interest created in us towards them. I find 
it to be the case with myself, and suppose 
it is with others. -J^- ^ ^ ^ ^ I seem 
to think that one^ at least ^ of the children^ will 
be of the number ^ who shall proclaim the glad 
tidings of the gospel of peace. May it be so, 
for Jesus' sake ! 

I continue very unwell. You cannot 
think how much I suffer with this cancer. 
It seems to be eating quite up to my waist. 
The pain at my heart is very bad, and my 
whole left side seems affected by it. My 
back also is painful, and I have suffered 
with my head, until my face was so swollen 
that I could not see. Indeed, my qjq^ 
would not have been blacker, if I had been 
beaten over them. I can hardly tell in 
which part of my body the pain has been 
7* 



78 LETTEES OF 

most severe. It will all be done one of 
these days; and methinks, that the first 
sound from the heavenly harpers, which 
strikes upon my ear, will a thousand times 
repay for this short night of suffering and 
pain. To behold Jesus as he is, — I will wil- 
lingly wait, till I hear the bridegroom's 
voice. God deals graciously with me, soul 
and body. I will extol the Lord ; whom 
He sets free is free indeed ! He can and 
He will bring me victoriously to the place 
he has gone to prepare. 

May he continue to bless, comfort^ and 
support you in this valley of weeping ; and 
at last give you a triumphant entrance into 
the " everlasting kingdom of our Lord and 
Saviour, Jesus Christ !" 

Eemember me to the Misses W . 

That God may bless you and all yours, 
is the earnest prayer of your 

humble servant, 
Eachel W. Geeek 



RACHEL W. GREEJSr. 79 



Letter XII. 

Baltimore^ Sept 1; 1853. 

My dear, kind Friend: — Just as I was 
sending to the office this morning, your let- 
ter of yesterday came to the door. I can- 
not tell you the gratitude that filled my 
heart, both for it, and its welcome enclo- 
sure. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 1 i^iU pray for the 
bereaved ones. Oh ! what an unspeakable 
consolation is an interest in Christ ! May 
you and all the survivors, richly experience 
God's presence. Would not such separa- 
tions be intolerable, without a prospect of 
reunion, and a reunion eternal? Blessed be 
God! you shall meet again, and never, 
never part : meet to dwell and reign with 
Jesus forever and forever. May your soul 
be richly watered, by plunging deep in the 
fountain of Jesus' blood ! — but of this, you 
know better than I can tell you. 

God only knows the joy, '^he saw his 
way through Christ,'' brought to my heart. 
If he had heen in the service of God ten thou- 



80 LETTEES OP 

sand years, he could have had no other hope. 
Christ is the hiding-place for sinners, 

I knew that many fervent prayers were 
wafted to. heaven on the wings of faith, and 
felt sure God would answer them to the 
conversion of his soul. I have always un- 
derstood that the kindness of his heart 
prompted him to extend help, wherever 
help was needed, and for a long time, have 
hoped that his many good qualities would 
at last be adorned with grace, I had no 
fear about his soul, for I believe God's word, 
^'Ash lohat ye wilV — We cannot ask too 
largely. 

Deeply do I feel for the bereaved wife ; 
but it is only a temporary separation. Ere 
long, both you, she, and I trust all his chil- 
dren, will be with him forever. May you 
live in delightful anticipation of the ^^ glo- 
rious appearing of the great Grod, our Sa- 
viour," when the loved and lost (lost for a 
little while) shall appear with Him in 
glory. Is he dead? No, he sleeps in 
Jesus. ^^ Sorrow then, not as others, who 
have on hope ;" but comfort one another, 
by speaking of the promised day of glory. 
Think of the time, when you will see the 



EACHEL W. GREEN. 81 

beloved brother ; the wife lier husband; tlio 
children their father. Think of the day, 
when yon will see that form, once wasted 
by sickness, clouded with sorrow, and 
shrouded in death, all radiant with the 
brightness of celestial bliss — made like to 
his glorious Saviour. Oh ! with what de- 
light will you then trace together a Sa- 
viour's love, with joy, in one sense, sur- 
passing that of angels ; casting your blood- 
bought crowns at his feet, and joining in the 
never-ending worship of the upper sanc- 
tuary ! How you will follow together, the 
footsteps of the Lamb through all the glo- 
ries of the New Jerusalem, uniting in the 
anthem of thanksgiving which all His ran- 
somed people will unceasingly lift up before 
His throne ! 

Could he now speak to you from the 
abodes of bliss, what, think you, would he 
exclaim? — Eejoice, rejoice that I am enjoy- 
ing the unveiled beauties of my Saviour's 
face! Grieve not at my removal, but spend 
every moment in grateful efforts to promote 
the interests of my Father, and your Father, 
and my God, and your God. A father, a 
brother, in heaven ! what would not thou- 



82 LETTERS OF 

sands give to be able to say this ? ^ ^ ^ * 
Never, until we get there, can we have any 
adequate conception of what we owe to a 
Eedeemer's love. We ought to feel every 
moment wasted, that is not employed in 
some effort to promote his glory. 

Let it comfort your hearts, to know that 
this bereavement is appointed by Him who 
manifested for you, on Calvary's cross, a 
love which passeth all understanding ; and 
lay yourselves open to receive all the con- 
solation He is willing to impart. 

Heavy aflliction does not always speak 
the wrath of God. No, no. It oftener 
speaks of mercy. The smarting rod and 
divine love often dwell together. Faith 
takes hold of the promise of salvation in 
and through Christ; and so, securing its 
main interests, makes the soul easy in every 
lot of life : faith sees God at the helm, in 
the wildest storm, and endures as seeing 
him who is invisible : faith casts anchor on 
the Eock of Ages, and stays itself on God: 
faith brings new supplies of grace from 
heaven, which keep the soul from sinking 
in the heaviest trials : faith supports by the 
encouraging representations it makes of 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 83 

Christ — His present concern for the believ- 
er; His almighty arm conveying invisible 
strength for his support ; and above all^ of 
His pleading the cause of his people with 
God: faith represents Christ as standing by 
the furnace as a refiner, smilingupon His chil- 
dren under their trials, and saying, ''It is 
J 'J ^ * * * ^ Love is an endearing 
principle : it makes, the soul, like a kindly 
child, draw nearer to Christ the more it is 
beaten. Complaints are not murmurings ; 
else, there would be no room for prayer; 
no spreading our distressed cases before 

God. 

^ "^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 



Letter XIII, 

Baltimore^ Oct, 5, 1853. 
My very dear Friend : — I pray that you 
do not attribute my long silence either to 
neglect or ingratitude. I have been obliged 
to do some sewing. I had put it off as long 
as possible, for I well knew the conse- 
quences of exertion ; but my clothes were 



84 LETTERS OF 

SO worn that I was unable longer to defer 
mending them. This has caused me to 
suffer so much, that I hardly know how to 
mend my own poor body. / sijeak particu- 
larly of the cause, that you may not think me 
forgetful of duty. 

My mind, also, has been quite gloomy. 
I am such a poor proficient in the school 
of Christ ; so backward to learn -'the things 
freely given us of Grod." 

I make such slow advance toward perfec- 
tion, that I often find it difficult to deter- 
mine whether or not I am progressing. We 
do not remain stationary in religion, al- 
though at times we appear to do so. Upon 
examination, I do not discover that I am 
receding ; then, I must he progressing, Ee- 
signation to the will of God should be ex- 
ercised in this respect, as well as in any 
other ; but when I view my religious life, 
I see so many imperfections, so little con- 
formity to Him whose name I bear, that I 
am ready to conclude I shall never be what 
God requires ; and that, after all, I shall 
miss heaven. 

My thoughts wander so from God, and 
lay hold of objects which are earthly. In 



KACHEL W. GEEEN. 85 

my approaches to Him, I do not have that 
holy, reverential awe I desire, tempered and 
softened by a spirit of affectionate freedom, 
and grateful, confiding love. ^ ^ ^ My 
love is so cold, while His is so great. My 
prayers have but feeble signs of life. God 
has promised to hear me when I call upon 
him, though for wise purposes He does not 
grant sensible answers to my prayers. We 
are so prone to error on this point ; so apt 
to conclude that God does not lend an ear 
to our supplications, unless we have some 
visible answer to them. We should im- 
portune a throne of grace, determined not 
to withdraw our petitions, until we know 
that we have the things we ask for. To try 
our faith, God may leave us to wrestle with 
Him for weeks, or even months and years ; 
but let us plead His word, and trust His 
unchangeable faithfulness, and we shall not 
be disappointed. 

I beg you to pray, that the cloud which 
hangs so heavily over my spiritual sky, 
may burst in a flood of light upon my 
soul. 

I trust, my dear friend, that your con- 
solations in Christ abound ; that the com- 
8 



86 LETTERS OF 

forfcing and sanctifying influence of the 
Holy Grhost is continually wafting your 
soul on the wings of faith, hope, and love ; 
and that, although cast down for a season 
by sorrow, your precious soul is lifted in 
joyful expectation. May you experience 
that He who wounds can heal ! 

* * The very hand that strikes the blow, 
Was wounded once for you." 

Precious Saviour ! how deeply he sym- 
pathizes with his sorrowing followers ! May 
He attune our hearts and lips to praise him 
with joyful strains, singing and making 
melody in our hearts ! 

We hope that yourself and family are 
well : also the bereaved widow. May she 
be enabled to trust in the Lord, and lean 
upon his arm for support. May she draw 
by faith from the fountain of life, drink 
deeply of the well of salvation, and feast 
on the love of God in Christ. May she live 
to the Lord, go peacefully prepared to the 
grave, and have a triumphant entrance into 
the everlasting kingdom of her God and 
Saviour ! 

I trust that your most earnest prayers on 



EACHEL W. GREEN. 87 

belialf of your grand-children may be fully 
realized. May they be good boys, and say 
with full purpose of heart. Oh God ! thou 
art the guide of our youth. 

My sufferings are most acute. The can- 
cer has reached my stomach, and the pain 
is terrible. I can eat nothing without pain, 
and my heart is so bad, that when I get 
into a sleep, it seems as if I must die. 
Surely it is the Lord that sustains me! 

May He abundantly bless you and yours, 
is the prayer of 

Your humble debtor, 

Eachel W. Green. 



Letter XI Y. 

Baltimore. May 30, 1854. 

My dear Friend : — Once more I trouble 
you with a letter. I suppose that you are 
thinking of the sweet country air, where 
for a season you can be free from the bustle 
of the city, and enjoy a larger share of com- 
munion with God. But some happy day or 
night you will cross Jordan, and enter Ca- 



88 LETTERS OF 

naan ; tliis toilsome warfare ended, you will 
take your departure for a tearless^ nightless 
country. Your journey began in grace, but 
it vsill end in glory. Here one tear is scarce- 
ly dried, before another is ready to flow: not 
so there. When reaping time come, weeping 
time ends, and that forever. Though the 
seed be few, we shall be reaping the fruit 
throughout eternity: though we sow in 
tears, we shall reap in joy, and perhaps as- 
tonishmentj when we see the reward of a 
single cup of cold water.^ You may then 
hear something like this — You sheltered 

■^ That great and good man, Dr. Owen, makes a re- 
mark to the same effect. He says : 

** There is nothing so comforting to the child of God, 
as to think that bye- and- bye, when the Lord shaU 
condescend to take notice of some poor * cup of cold 
water' which was given to a disciple in the name of 
Christ, when He shall mark out some insignificant 
service which the Holy Ghost has enabled us to do in 
Christ's name, we shall not be able to recognize our 
own services, they shall look so very different when 
presented in and by Christ." 

Indeed, the wonder will be, that they havo been re- 
membered at all. But * ' As a tear dropped on the golden 
Altar would appear golden because the gold shone 
through, so will it be with deeds done in Christ's 
name and for his sake." 



EACHEL W. GREEN. 89 

the poor wanderer, — henceforth my house 
shall be your home. You fed the hungry, 
— eat the fruit of the tree of life. My om- 
niscience shall be your overseer ; my wis- 
' dom your counsellor ; my justice your aven- 
ger ; my faithfulness your security ; my 
mercy your store; my omnipresence your 
company ; my all- sufficiency the lot of your 
inheritance. We should not dare to think 
of all this honour, if the Lord himself had 
not encouraged us to look forward, as being 
partakers of Ms glory, 

I was never called to walk so entirely by 
faith, as now. God has cut off all human 
helps. It is not necessary to have the in- 
structions of man ; yet it is very pleasant 
and encouraging to hear God's people speak 
of his dealings with and towards them ; and 
it has always afforded me delight to have 
them sing and pray with me. But God has 
seen that I was leaning too much on the 
arm of flesh, and in mercy to my soul, has 
deprived me of this privilege. I feel it 
keenly ; but, worse than all, my God hides 
his face ! I cannot see Him at the mercy - 
seat, and I have no sensible answer to 
prayer ; still, I know the change is in my- 
8* 



90 LETTEES OF 

self. God is the same; and Ms word abideth. 
forever. Jesus is never so precious^ as in 
tlie dark and gloomy day ; and although I 
cannot see him, I know he is near^ impart- 
ing strength, — else, how could I persevere 
amid so much discouragement. Satan sifts, 
but Jesus pleads : Satan tempts, but Jesus 
prays. The strong man is assailed by the 
stronger ; the wolf prowls for his prey; but 
ivhat can he do whi]e the Shepherd is owar ? 
I deserve to be banished from liis fold, and 
left to stray on dark mountains ; but his 
mercy abounds, and though I have no ray 
of light to cheer my pilgrimage, yet will I 
cleave to Jesus, and stay my soul upon God, 
Perhaps, ^'at evening time, it will be light;" 
and if it is not, a day of cloudless glory 
will dawn upon my ransomed soul. My 
Saviour trod a path of bitterness and blood, 
and shall I go to heaven, fed on sweets ? 
No, not one in glory got there thus softly, 
and I would not like to take the lead, 

•K -Jf -Jf 4«- ^ * 

I trust the little boys improve, and ap- 
preciate the blessings they enjoy. I hope 
that which they learn may prove to be a 
blessing to thousands of precious souls, as 



EACHEL W. GKEEN. 91 

well as themselves. Although. I never ex- 
pect to see them here, God grant me a 
sight of them in heaven. 

My sufferings are still very severe. The 
leaders of my right arm are drawn, the 
doctor thinks, from the spine ; and my can- 
cer is getting worse. Pray, that all may be 
sanctified to the glory of God, and patience 
have her perfect work. 



Letter XY. 

Baltimore^ Aug. 20, 1854. 

My dear Friend : — Thoagh death comes 
creeping on, and often makes such hasty 
strides, that I think he is laying hands 
upon me, yet, you perceive that I am still 
alive; I fear, not with the submission I 
ought to feel. I am so weary of sin, un- 
faithfulness, ingratitude, of myself. How 
much better to be with Christ !^ But then, 

* *' Yes, each believer for thy coming waits, 
To join the glorious throng within the veil, 
On spicy mountains of eternal love, 



92 LETTERS OF 

it is an act of undeserved kindness that He 
gives me so large a time for repentance ; 
and one glance is enough to show me what 
I shonld. have been, had he dealt with me 
according to my deserts. The goodness of 
God has abounded towards this worm, since 
the first dawn of my existence. Did the 
sweet singer of Israel exclaim, ^'I am a 
worm, and no man!" how much more should 
I? Did the noble Paul call himself 'Hhe 
least of all saints," to what hiding-place 
shall I flee ? How should my soul be filled 
with the height and depth, and length and 
breadth of the love of Christ 2 ^ ^ ^ 
^ ^ ^ My faith is not what it should 
be ; or, rather, I need more ; for little faith 
is as tiulj faith, as much faith."^ 



And there inhale the fragrance of Thy name, 
Make haste, my beloved ! Quickly come, 
In all Thy Father's glory, and Thine own. 
My heaven-born spirit waits to meet thee, Lord: 
To be made like Thee, see Thee as Thou art, 
And spend eternity in Thy embrace !" 

* 2 Pet. i. 1. ^^ Like precious faith.^^ One grain 
of gold is as much gold as one ton. So with faith. 
If it be in size only as a grain of mustard-seed, still it 
is faith — Grod's gift. Lord, increase our faith! 



KACHEL W. GREEN. 93 

Even in this bed of suffering, does not 
Jesus cradle me in the arms of his love ? 
but oh ! this heart is such a lump of disease 
treachery, vanity, inconsistency, foolishness 
and wickedness ! Yet the Lord of glory 
asks me for it — died to win it. 

* ' Take it, Lord, and let it be 
Forever closed to ail but tliee." 



2M. 

The furnace-fire became so hot, that I 
could not finish my letter. Blessed thought ! 
suffering cannot last forever. I expect to 
have an eternity of ease, when the days of 
my mourning are ended. The valley of 
tears is not so long, after all. A few more 
throbbings of this aching heart, and the 
angel will proclaim that ^^ time shall be no 
longer." I should be willing to sup one 
hitter draughty when I expect to bathe in ten 
thousand rivers of glory. Am I hoping too 
much? Yes, if I looked to anything short 
of Christ. Good works are required of us ; 
but they have no part in meriting or pro- 
curing salvation. Love to God makes it 
delightful to do good and communicate. 



94 LETTEES OP 

The believer remembers tbe life Ms Lord 
lived upon earth, and delights to walk in 
his footsteps; yet he depends upon the alone 
merits of Christ for salvation, -se- -s^ -s^ I 
have often felt thankful that heaven is not 
to be purchased by works of man. If so, I 
could never get there; for every act of 
mine, even to the most fervent prayer, 
needs the all-cleansing blood of Jesus. 

**Dear dying Lamb, thy precious "blood, 
Shall never lose its power, 
Till all the ransomed Church of God 
Be saved, to sin no more." 

Wonder of wonders, that Christ should 
love so vile a worm as I, with an everlasting 
love;^ and glory to his name! he has 
brought me to love him. I cannot love him 
as I ought, but he graciously condescends 
to take the will for the deed : he owns my 
poor services, and stoops to meet me at the 
mercy-seat. My stated seasons for prayer 



■^ "God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love 
wherewith he loved us, even when we were dead in 
sins.'' Eph. ii. 4. It is unscriptural to suppose that 
God ever was or ever is^ angry with his people, ** God 
is love. ' 



RACHEL W. GBEEN. 95 

are so many steps, each one bringing me 
nearer to heaven. / cannot hneel^ but I 
change my position, and my precious Inter- 
cessor presents me in his own person ; the 
Holy Ghost fulfills his ofiice, and shows me 
my wants and weakness, making inter- 
cession with groanings that cannot be ut- 
tered. I build my faith on the merits of 
Christ, and the word of God ; coming thus 
— I know and believe that God graciously 
regards me, and in his own time, which is 
the best and right time, will fulfill his pro- 
mise. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

I had last night, a most delightful free- 
dom while praying for the little boys, which 
makes me hope more than ever, that the 
desire of your heart may be granted. You 
can hardly think how praying for them 
daily, entwines them round my heart. 

My bodily sufferings increase ; but it is 
the Lord, and blessed be His holy name ! 



96 LETTERS OF 



Letter XVI. 

Baltimore^ Sept. 26, 1854. 

My dear Friend : — I sliould have written 
before, bnt I have been so much worse in 
nealth ; and my mind seems to partake of 
my bodily prostration. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

I have been led to say, lately, that 'trials 
and afflictions abide me:" why does not God 
take me hence? I thank God, such feel- 
ings are only momentary; for I am con- 
vinced that trials of whatever sort — afflic- 
tion either of body or mind — though strang- 
ling were letter than life — shall all work 
together for my good ; and though I cannot 
now see how, eternity will make it plain. 
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

Trials are part of our discipline; God 
directs them all. He has provided eternal 
life for us, and placed it in Christy who is 
the way to heaven. If we expect rest in the 
creaMre, we shall be disappointed; but if 
we seek it in Christ, we shall find it; for the 



RACHEL W. GREEISr. 97 

only price that could purchase rest has been 
paid by Him, ^ '^ ^ 

My spells are more frequent and violent ; 
but I trust that my inner man gathers 
strength, ^ ^ ^ J sometimes fear that 
r speak too plainly. If I offend on this 
point, please tell me, and I will try to be 
more particular. If my friends get tired 
of me, (and I could not wonder,) it would 
be the heaviest burden ever laid upon me. 
^ "^^ "^ You have had much patience — 
may God reward you an hundred-fold. 

My blessing to the children. Love to the 

Misses W . God bless you ! 

Your servant and debtor, 
Eachel W. Geeen". 



Letter XVI L 

Baltimore^ Oct. 10, 1854. 

My dear Friend : — I received your letter 

and welcome enclosure last Wednesday. 

Ten thousand thanks for your generous 

gift I stood very much in need of it, but 

Si 



98 LETTEES OF 

was deeply wounded by having three dol- 
lars of it stolen. ^ ^ "^ 

The sorrows of my heart have lately 
been enlarged. I can do little bnt weep. 
It is surely needful that I should suffer 
thuS; or such would not be the case. 
Humbling reflection ! that my God, who is 
all love, should find it so needful f * ^ -J?- 

It is easy to be an outside Christian — an 
empty professor; but this, cannot bring 
peace to the heart. My own experience 
teaches me that I need the pruning-knife ; 
and although it sometimes cuts deep, God 
cannot err. He doeth all things well. 

** Jesus alone shaU bear my cries, 
Up to the Father's throne : 
He, dearest Lord, perfumes my sighs, 
And sweetens every groan." 

I fear the Misses mistook my 

motive in writing. I only desired to ob- 
tain encouragement and instruction. I fee] 
my need so deeply^ that I am willing to do 
almost anything to get it ; yet I hope that 
I may never forget my position and station 
in life. No motive but that which con- 
cerned my soul; induced me to trouble 



EACHEL W. GKEEN. 99 

them with my ignorance and bad writing. 
I feel sorry, in looking over my letters, 
that your kind patience should be so much 
taxed. 

May God bless you and yours, prays 

Your obliged servant, i 

Eachel W. Green. 



Letter XYIII. 

Baltimore. Nov, 13, 1854. 

My dear Friend : — I have still to record 
the goodness and mercy of my God. For 
some months, the great adversary of my 
soul has been permitted to try every spark 
of grace, and to sift me as wheat. I have 
had to contend for every inch of ground — 
yet I stand, because the everlasting arms 
are underneath me. Oh ! what a bottom- 
less abj^ss is redeeming love ! What heights 
and depths, what lengths and breadths, it is 
our privilege to enjoy, yet how far beneath 
them do we live \ ^ ^ "^ 1 long to be 
emptied of all, that I may be filled with 



100 LETTEES OF 

Him who fiUeth all in all. I am nothing ; 
but in Christ is an infinite fullness. My 
wantS; many as they are, can never im- 
poverish the inexhaustible treasury of his 
grace. My insufficiency in everythingj is 
met by his sufficiency in all things. "^ ^ * 
We receive little, only because we ask lit- 
tle, and expect even less than we ask. 

I cannot rest short of all Christ has pur- 
chased for me — all God is willing to bestow, 
and I am capable of receiving. I cannot 
rest satisfied with any partial attainment. 
I long to be brought out of my captivity. 
Joy is pleasant, but this is not the object 
of my search. I see every promise mine,* 
sealed with my own Saviour's blood. May 



* This is the true idea of progressive sanctification. 
It is not the having anything good of ourselves, but, 
it is being *• complete in Christ." And, it is having 
the capacity to receive out of his fullness from time 
to time. This process will never cease. No, not in 
heaven; because, there Sixe ''^ unsearcliahle riches^'' in 
Jesus. Sanctification is nothing more nor less than 
having our daily sins washed out by the blood of Je- 
sus, and our daily wants supplied out of his fullness. 
In a word, it is living on Jesus — it is the development 
of the neiVj not the mending of the old man. 



RACHEL W. GP.EEX. 101 

power be given me to go up and possess tlie 

land ! 

^ ^ -jf ^ -jf ^ 

A suffering body, is one of God's great 
blessings to his people. I do not mean to 
say that it is needful to have bodily suffer- 
ing, before the patience can be tried ; for I 
think that we often require stricter watch- 
ing under the petty ills of life. Heavy 
burdens will cause reflection, while a way- 
ward child may disturb our temper. It is 
where we suspect the least, that the most 
danger lies. To have the body racked year 
after year with suffering; to spend night 
after night in the vain attempt to lie down, 
with no comfortable position in which to 
sit ; to think that the cold hand of death is 
upon you, and no one near save the Grod of 
heaven ; and still feel that it is all rights is 
more than human strength. We may even 
bear suffering without complaint ; stern de- 
termination may enable us to do so ; but 
that is not the resignation and comfort, in 
which we can say, ''Even so. Father; for 
so it seemeth good in thy sight :" beholding 
every stroke disposed according to covenant 



9* 



102 LETTERS OF 

transaction^ and meekly kissing the hand 

that smites us."^ 

This patience springs from a divine cause, 

and leads to a divine end. It is all, all of 

grace. Oh! what a debtor to free grace am 
J f ^ ^ -se- 

A new physician has called to see me ; 
but says that no relief can be obtained. 
These dreadful inward burnings have al- 
most consumed me. I have several times 
thought, that I was really entering the val- 
ley of death. 



Letter XIX. 

Baltimore, Jan, 8, 1855. 

My very kind friend : — I attempt to ac- 
knowledge the receipt of your letter and 
liberal enclosure, yet words do not seem to 
convey the feelings of my heart. Will you 

* Yes. The <?ovenaiit is ordered in all things and 
sure ; and all things work together for good to Grod's 
believing people. 



RACHEL W. GREEISr. 103 

thank the Misses many times for 

me? It gives me real pleasure to know 
that God sees, and will reward every such 
action. I am a feeble, unworthy worm, but 
God will not disregard my prayers. I some- 
times fear that I trouble you with my igno- 
rance, and bad writing ; and am grateful for 
your indulgence in this respect. I have 
often thought, that if the offer of a good 
education, or an independent fortune, were 
made to me, that I would choose the for- 
mer ; but God has seen fit to withhold this 
boon, and I must be content. 

We were sorry to learn that death had 
again entered the family; but with defer- 
ence, I would say, that I hope the Misses 

are enabled to behold a Father's 

hand. He who lighted the fire is everlast- 
ing love; love is the fuel which feeds the 
flame — ^how sweet to be able to say, when 
the furnace is hottest — anything, dear Lord, 
so thou art ghrijied. ^ ^ "^ Resignation 
is what the Lord calls for, without reason- 
ing about the past, present, or future. May 
this trial have a transforming and refining 
influence ; and may you all find, that as 
link after link is broken on earth, you are 



104 LETTEES OF 

more closely united to Christ your Head. 
^ ^ -^ 

My God condescends to make Himself 
known to me, as a prayer-bearing Grod. 

This year set in gloriously upon my 
soul. The last hours of the old^ and the 
first of the new year, were spent (as is 
usual with me) in searching the depths of 
my heart; and laying all upon the altar, 
which can alone sanctify the gift. ^ ^ -^ 
I desire God to impart Himself more fully, 
and enable me to serve Him with all the 
perfection that the imperfection of humanity 
will admit. But how totally has man lost 
in the fall the moral image of his Creator ! 
Into what an abyss of ruin did he sink; 
and had not the Son of God reached out his 
hand of redeeming love, and promised and 
provided, unaskedfor, a Saviour, not one 
ray of light could ever have entered his 
dark dungeon of despair. 

The apostle to the Gentiles tells us that 
God wills our sanctification. This is a 
doctrine very freely spoken of, in the Me- 
thodist connection ; but, I fear, often urged 
with a zeal not according to knowledge. Many 
place it so high, that some despair of find- 



EACHEL W. GKEEN. 105 

ing it; while others put it so low, that it 
does not appear worth contending for. 

I am sensible of my ignorance, and there- 
fore merely give an opinion. It appears to 
me that the term sanctification, sometimes 
means the entire dedication of person or 
things to holy or sacred purposes. The 
Levites were sanctified or set apart to the 
service of the temple: again, the term im- 
plies purity or holiness of heart. It is love 
to God Avith all our heart and mind, and 
soul and strength. It is the lost image re- 
stored by the power and efficacy of the 
Holy Ghost. It is laying all on the altar 
of sacrifice, determined never to remove it 
thence, and believing the offering is accept- 
ed through and for Christ's sake. It is 
only by cleaving to, and trusting in Christ, 
that this state can be retained. It begins 
the" moment a soul is born from above, and 

ends only when the soul leaves the body. 
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

In looking over what I have written, I 

beg that you will pardon my freedom of 

speech. I cannot get along imless I write 

just as my heart prompts; therefore it is 

put on paper rough from the heart. If I 



106 LETTEES OF 

studied to make it appear nice, it would be 
worse tlian it is; aS; in this respect, re- 
straint is not in my nature. I know, that 
your kind heart will excuse and make al- 
lowance for me. 
God bless you all, 

Eachel W. Gkeejst. 



Lettek XX, 

Baltimore^ March 12, 1855. 

My dear Friend : — With many thanks, I 
acknowledge the receipt of your welcome 
letter. Thank you! always seems to convey 
so little what I mean, that I feel dissatisfied 
with my blunt acknowledgments of your 
kindness. ^ ^ ^ 

You have a right not only to request, but 
to command of me anything I can do ; and 
it affords me great pleasure to give you an 
account of my conversion. -^^ -^ * 

It appears to me very manifest, that, from 
the first to the present moment, it has been 
the work of the Lord, From a child, I took 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 107 

delight in going to the Eoman Catholic 
Church, and loved the very name of Catho- 
lic, long before I "understood its usages, or 
doctrines. It has always been my disposi- 
tion to do with all my might whatever I 
undertook; neither will I undertake any- 
thing until I understand it. Accordingly, 
I sought every means to ground my Eom- 
ish faith, long before any one, save the 
priest and myself, knew that I was so en- 
gaged ; and when I came out publicly as a 
member of the Catholic Church, I was well 
posted in all its doctrines, and deeply root- 
ed in all its superstitious idolatry ; bitterly 
hating everything opposed to it, and using 
every effort to bring converts to its bosom. 
I was too successful. Would to God I 
could undo all I have done in this respect ! 

For my zeal in this way^ I had added to 
'my^ name of Rachel, that of St, Bebecca. 

Saint, indeed ! Devil was more befitting 
my character. 

At length, the priest and I concluded that 
I was called to be a nun ; and during the 
last six months of my connection with the 
Eomanists, I was receiving instructions for 
that purpose. ^ « ^ Thus I went on 



108 LETTERS OF 

glorying in darkness, until tlie last day of 
the year 1842, when I proposed to some 
Catholic friendS; that we should attend a 
Methodist watch- meeting. I did not want 
to go, because I hoped to be benefitted ; for 
of all people, they were the last from whom 
I expected benefit. I thought that if any 
one in the meeting held down their head, 
the members would immediately speak to 
them. I determined^ therefore, to act as if 
I was weeping, and when they came to me, 
I was to tell them that I belonged to the 
true Church ; if possible, convince them of 
their folly, or else, insult their feelings. I 
looked upon them with less respect than I 
did upon a dog that belonged to what I 
termed a good Catholic. 

My friends were afraid to go up farther 
than the choir, but I went to the seat under 
the pulpit. Service began at nine o'clock ; 
the church was crowded. Two sermons 
were preached, but I do not remember one 
word. I held down my head till my neck 
ached, but no one spoke to me. This vexed 
me beyond measure. There were some per- 
sons present who knew me, and would 
gladly have besought me to seek redemp- 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 109 

tion through the blood of Jesus ; but they 
also knew mjr violent temper, and were 
afraid to come in contact with me, sure that 
no good object had brought me there, and 
little thinking that the Lord loas about to work 
a great work. 

At twelve o'clock, the Covenant hymn 
was given out. It was to be sung upon the 
knees. Now, thought I, is my only chauce. 
I will kneel, then they will speak to me. I 
noticed that the lady sitting next to me, 
eyed me closely; but she has told me since, 
that my countenance was so forbidding, that 
she took a hint from one who knew me, 
and did not speak. '^ ^ ^ 

I was so long considering what to do, 
that every one was kneeling before I rose 
from my seat. As I was getting down, my 
eyes ran over the church. All were bowed, 
except those who came with me. Satan 
raged. 

As I looked around, and saw every soul 
bowed low, the solemnity of the scene over- 
came me, and I sat upon the floor and wept. 
I tried to be calm, but could not. I cursed 
myself for going there. I was angry be- 
cause I could not stop weeping; neither 
10 



110 LETTERS OF 

could I help crying so loud that others 
heard me. I then tried to listen to the 
minister pray; but no, I could not com- 
mand iny feelings. It seemed as if hell 
was gaping beneath me, and I dared not 
move. ^ -5^ ^ I thought that I had 
broken a blood-vessel, and that if I moved 
I should die among those cursed heretics 
without a priest. I called upon my patron 
saint, upon the Blessed Virgin, but my dis- 
tress continued. "^ ^ ^ When the 
hymn and prayers were ended, I made one 
desperate effort to get upon the seat again. 

Soon after, we went out. My feelings 
were as different from what they were when 
I went into that meeting, as an enraged lion 
differs from a harmless lamb. 

I slept little or none that night, and rose 
early next morning, that I might attend 
church during the whole day; but my bur- 
den grew heavier still. As night came on^ 
I felt an invisible power dragging me again to 
the Methodist meeting ^ where I went actually 
cursing the very ^people among whom I was ^ 
and myself for following them. 

On Monday, I determined to clear my 
conscience by making a full confession to 



KACHEL W. GREEN, 111 

my ghostly father, (the priest,) but he could 
not hear me. I went from one priest to an- 
other, but something always prevented my 
confession ; and when night drew on, that 
invisible power again took me to the Metho- 
dist meeting. A great work was going on 
there ; hundreds were added to the Church. 
Thus it was day after day, and night after 
night. During the day I would try to get 
to confession, and at night that invisible 
something would draw me, actually against 
my will, to the Methodist church. ^ ^ ^ 
I now see what that something was — the 
interposition of Almighty God. 

My pen would prove a useless instrument 
to describe what I suffered for a month. I 
could neither eat, sleep, nor work. I was 
sewing for a lady, who pitied my distress, 
and exacted nothing of me, although she 
was not a Christian. On the last Saturday, 
of January I said, to confession I must and 
will get. I had been in the habit of con- 
fessing once a week, and communing once 
a fortnight. I went to the Cathedral, de- 
termined that my trouble should end that 
night. I tried my best, but the clock struck 
nine, before I knelt in the confessional. It 



112 LETTEES OF 

is a rule to end your confession ivith the priest 
you hegin with, or else you must commence 
and go over it again. I had begun with an- 
other priest. So when the slide pushed 
back, my ghostly father said, ^'To whom did 

you confess last?" ^'To Father H /* 

said I. ^' Then go back to him/' said he, 
sharply, as he shut the window with a slam, 
without ever asking me, as he should have 
done, whether I had finished with him or 
not. 

I thank him for it all now; bu.t oh! how 
I felt then — ^for him who had so puffed up 
my pride to behave thus to me. With bit- 
ter feeling, I said, " I will never confess to 
you again, nor come to this church any 
more." Still, I went all the next day. On 
Sunday night, however, I was again drawn 
to the Methodist meeting. During all this 
.mouth, every argument had been used to 
show me that the cause of my distress was 
the strivings of God's spirit ; but I did not 
see myself a condemned sinner. I loved 
the Catholic Church, and had no wish to 
hear anything said against it. There was 
one dear old saint, who soon perceived that 
it only made me angry to speak about it, 



BACHEL W. GREEX 113 

and carefully avoided the subject. He 
would stand, and weep over me, and I 
loved to hear him talk. He was no bois- 
terous fanatic, but one of those mild, lovely 
Christians, whose very countenance beams 
with the love of God. He was a man of 
wealth, learning, and wisdom. 

On this Sunday night, after saying all lie 
could, I thought he had left me, and looked 
up. But oh! there he stood, his white locks 
put back from his forehead, the tears 
streaming down his cheeks, and his hands 
clasped in silent devotion. I knew that he 
was praying for me, and in bitterness of 
soul I said, I will never come in his way 
again. I do not think that I spoke aloud ; 
but just then he said, ^^ My dear child, I 
am afraid to leave you, although you wish 
me to do so. Promise me, that if God 
should spare you to come here again, that 
you will make one effort for your soul. It 
is not you we want ; it is your salvation. 
And when your soul is born anew, if you 
see proper to remain in the Eomish Church, 
why do so." I promised, without any in- 
tention of keeping my word, for I deter- 
mined never to go there again. ^^ ^ ^ 
10^ 



114 LETTEES OF 

On Wednesday I thought I would surely 
die, and I uttered my first heart-prayer, '^ My 
Grod ! only spare me^ and this night I will 
make the effort. Anything, Lord, only let 
me not die !" Towards night, I felt like 
drawing back. Then a feeling came over 
mC; and I ran to an out-house, and said, '^ 
God! let me live. I must not, will not die." 
A young man of the family, who had kept 
a close eye upon me during the month, al- 
though I did not know it, followed me, and 
heard what I said. He, too, was a Eoman 
Catholic ; and three or four days after my 
conversion, he sought and' found the 
Lord. 

I went to church, and remember taking 
my seat, but have not the least idea of 
anything else, until I found myself kneel- 
ing at the altar. I do not know how I got 
there, but there I was; and the first thought 
that came into my mind was — What a fool 
I am making of myself! Then, I deter- 
mined if there was such a religion as the 
old man spoke of, it should be mine. Just 
then, the dear old saint said to me, '^Daugh- 
ter, He loves thee with an everlasting love. 
Looh to none but Jesus ! Saints and angels 



RACHEL W. GKEEiS". 115 

cannot help thee. Come to thy Saviour !'''' I 
remembered my promise to God; and tried 
to do as he told me. I was determined to 
know my doom that night, and if I left the 
altar unrelieved in mind, to lay violent 
hands upon myself; before the dawn of an- 
other day. 

After two hours, I felt some hope and en- 
couragement, and wished that the cross and 
medals were away from my neck. I thought 
they hindered me ; but as soon as I was 
willing to give them up, and look upon 
them in their true character, they troubled 
my soul no more. 

At twelve o'clock the first night in Feb- 
ruary, just one month from the time that 
the sword of the Spirit first wounded me, 
my Father said, ^'Daughter, thy sins, which 
are many, are all forgiven. Go in peace." 
My conversion was clear as the noonday 
sun shining in his strength. I have never 
doubted for one moment that I was then 
born of God. Oh how happy I was : my 
joy seemed as great as my grief had been. 
My soul was too big for utterance, and I sat 
for some time as one speechless. "^ ^ ^ 

My God has kept me twelve years. 



116 LETTERS OF 

Glory be to his dear name! and I have never 
regretted for a moment the steps I then took. 

1 do not think that any milder means 

would have brought me to Jesus' feet. It 
was necessary to shake me over the very 
mouth of hell; to show me the dark hold 
of iniquity in which I had placed all my 
hopes. Oh ! that God should have borne 
with me. But he did^ glory to my Jesus I"^ 

*' He whom the boundless heaven adores, 
Whom angels long to see, 
Quitted with joy those blissful shores, 
Ambassador to me : 
** To 77ie, a worm, a sinful clod, 
A rebel all forlorn, 
A foe, a traitor to my God, 
And of a traitor born : 

** To wie, who never sought his grace, 
Who mocked his holy word. 
Who never knew, or loved his face, 
But all his will abhorred : 

" To me, who could not even praise, 
When his kind heart I knew, 
But sought a thousand devious ways 
Rather than find the true. 

''Yet this Redeeming Angel came. 
So vile a worm to bless ; 
"He took, with gladness, all my blame, 
And gave his righteousness,^^ 



EACHEL W. GEEEN. 117 

I liad no earthly friend to take me by 
the hand and say, " This is the way, walk 
ye in it." But the Lord knew this, and the 
night He converted my soul I had not 
gone more than half way home, before it 
was suggested to my mind — This is not 
ALL OF EELIGION."^ From my natural hirth, 
I continued to increase in size, until I arrived, 
at the stature which Ood intended. So must 
I continue to grow in grace, love, Tcnoivledge, 
and experience, until God takes mcc to live ivith 
Mm in heaven; and the longihg which then 
seized me for conformity to the mind of 
Christ has never left me. 

After I had known the Lord about three 
months, a sudden darkness spread over my 
spiritual horizon. It was suggested to me 
by the prince of darkness, that I had com- 
mitted the unpardonable sin, and for six 
long months God only knows what I suf 
fered. I felt sure, at length, that it was in 
leaving the Catholic Church that I had 
been guilty of this sin; and the more I 
thought of it, the more plausible it appear- 

^ Ob I that the Holy Spirit would teach all his peo- 
ple this truth, and lead them to be diligent in studying 
Christ, 



118 . LETTEES OF 

ed. I wrote a letter to my father confessor, 
craving his pardon for having so yielded to 
Satan. After I had sealed it, I began to 
think of the change that had been wrought 
in me, and of the night when God spoke 
peace to my soul. '^This, then, is the work 
of the devil," said I. ^' He would fain get 
me back to the Catholic Church." I was 
now confined to my bed for a few weeks, 
and my class-leader came to see me. It 
was just after dark, and a little lamp, with 
a tin shade over it, was burning in the 
room. ^'Why, sister Green," said he, jo- 
cosely, ^'your lamp is like yourself — all 
darkness." ^^ Well, thought I, is it possible 
that others can see no more light in me 
than I can myself ? But that lamp really 
has a bright light inside ; and if it is turned 
round, others can see that light burning. 
Perhaps, such is the case with me. I may 
be only looking on the dark side." Then 
it was that light broke into my soul, and I 
saw that it was for the trial of my faith 
that I had su.ffered. I never sent the let- 
ter, nor have I ever since been tempted to 
join the Catholic Church. -^ ^ ^ 
I have waded through many deep waters, 



EACHEL W. GREEN". 119 

and have walked long in darkness ; but I 
think the cause of this has often been be- 
cause I placed too much stress on frames 
and feelings, "^ ^ '^ 

When my body became so much afflicted, 
and I was convinced that the little health I 
had enjoyed was gone for life, the bitter- 
ness of my heart rose up — must I say it — 
against my good God ! 

I had opened a Sabbath School, for chil- 
dren who did not go to any Protestant 
place of worship. I went mostly among 
the Eoman Catholics, because I understood 
them. Several teachers joined, and we 

chose Mr. , a very pious young man, 

for superintendent. We opened with one 
little girl. The rest were somewhat dis- 
couraged; but I said, ^^Look upon that 
child as the first-fruits. It is a good cause, 
and cannot fall to the ground." We com- 
menced on the ninth of May, and the next 
Fourth of July we went to the celebration 
with over one hundred scholars, I did not 
then think that God was laying me by, to 
fill my place more worthily; and my natu- 
rally active spirit could not bear to think 
of it. My heart yearned to do something 



120 LETTERS OF 

for Him wlio had done so mucli for me ; 
and visiting these children, who were very 
poor, and many of them degraded in drunk- 
enness, and vice, was my delight. 

To be laid aside at 22, overwhelmed me 
with grief. A new idea now possessed me 
— it was to learn to write ; and I prayed ear- 
nestly, that if it would be for His glory 
that God would teach me how. I then tried 
to write my name. It looked to me some- 
thing like writing. I tried again and again, 
until in a very short time others could read 
the most of what I wrote. I have kept on 
improving. I am very thankful that God 
taught me the use of the pen, bad as my 
writing is ; but I often ask myself has it 
been for his glory "i ^ ^ ^ 

I know (and so do you) how ignorant I 
am. I often weep on this account; but 
writing has proved a greater blessing to 
my soul than I can express, having opened 
a way of instruction and encouragement to 
me. What has not God done for me? 
How have I returned his love and good- 
ness? 

I am often tempted to fretfulness; but 
thank God, temptation is not sin. What can 



RACHEL W. GKEE:N'. 121 

harm me; if I am a follower of Jesus? 
Nothing! What though I am afflicted: it 
is only because I am loved with an everlasting 
love, '^ ^ "^ "We are the silver, affliction 
the furnace. Our dear Lord kindles the 
fire with the fuel of his love, but he sits by 
the crucible, and will not let it get too hot, 
lest the precious metal be coiisumed : nei- 
ther too low, lest it be marred. He keeps 
his eye upon it, and as soon as he sees his 
own image reflected, the fire is extin- 
guished. ^ ^ -^^ 

I fear, my dear friend, that I have im- 
posed on your patience too severely. I do 
not remember what I said in my other let- 
ter, but this is much more full and particu- 
lar. I have kept on filling sheet after sheet, 
till I confess I am ashamed of its bulk, and 
I shall have to enclose them in two wrap- 
pers. I hope it will give you a satisfactory 
account of my conversion, and that you 
will make allowance for its many defects, 
and great length. ^ ^ ^ 

I am no better. My violent spells come 
much more frequently; but the Lord stands 
by me, and though my body is racked with 
pain. He grants me a peaceful mind. 
11 



122 LETTEKS OF 

God bless you and the little boys^ prays 
your thankful servant, 

EaCHEL W. GrREEN". 



Letter XXI. 

Baltimore^ Feb, 20, 1855. 

My very dear Friend : — I once more at- 
tempt to write to you, sincerely hoping that 
yourself, children, grand-children, and the 

Misses , with the entire family are 

well; and that thy soul prosper eth, and 
is in health. After all, this is the most im- 
portant. The poor body is not much — only 
a case to hold the jewel ; a house for the ten- 
ant. Its walls will soon fall, (mine are 
fast crumbling,) when the soul, glad of its 
release, will soon wing its way to its native 
heaven. I will soon he of age, when I shall 
enter upon my inheritance ; and truly the 
thought of that inheritance should keep the 
mind constantly soaring upward, filled with 
love for the free and unmerited gift of 
Christ, who purchased for us, with His 



EACHEL W. GREEN. 123 

own body, the glorious gift. Here we are 
like Him, only in part ; there we shall be 
changed into His own image : and yet, nn- 
reasonable mortals, we fear to die. Wo 
naturally shrink from an enemy — and death, 
as the wages of sin, is indeed an enemy to 
human nature; but to speak of it as such to 
the child of God is too harsh. Death is his 
birth-deij ; he only then begins to live. Ifc 
is his vanquished foe ; and the eye that 
neither slumbers nor sleeps, watches over 
his precious dust. The grave cannot be a 
gloomy place, since the body of Jesus has 
sanctified and perfumed it. It cannot be 
dark, for Christ has there left a lamp for 
His chosen people. Decomposition may 
cause the friends to turn away; bat the 
seed corn will spring up, blooming in im- 
mortal youth and beauty. -^ * * Christ 
died, that we might live forever, basking in 
His smile, and shining in His brightness ; 
but the grave is the door, through which 
we must go ; death the valley we must pass, 
to glory. If we had our choice, to go to 
heaven by this, or some other way, me- 
thinks, I would say, ''Let me follow after 
Jesus. He will not leave me to walk alone. 



124 LETTERS OF 

He will conduct me safely ; and thougl] the 
valley be dark^ I shall hear a sweet voice, 
saying, ' Daughter, fear not ; lean upon me. 
My strong arm bears thee up, and thou 
shalt soon see the blaze of eternal day.' " 



Letter X XII. 

Baltimore^ May 29, 1855. 

My dear Friend: Once again, through 
the goodness and mercy of God, I under- 
take to write, though I hardly know what 
to say. Wave after wave has rolled over 
my soul, until (in a spiritual sense) I hardly 
know whether or not I have any life abid- 
ing in me. I was never in a more troubled 
state of mind than now. How well does 
Satan know my weak points, and where to 
make his attacks. I cannot avoid asking 
if it is indeed needful for me thus to walk 
in darkness, hedged in by doubts, fears, 
perplexity and sorrow; and yet, if it was 
not, surely a good and merciful God would 
not permit these dreaded seasons. 



RACHEL W. GEEEN. 125 

The disciples would willingly have stayed 
on the Mount of Transfiguration ; they found 
it good to be there ; but they must descend 
into the plains below, to learn through suf- 
fering, that they were still encompassed by 
flesh, and retained a deceitful heart in the 
midst of an enemy's country. 

The blessed Jesus was a man of sorrows 
and acquainted with grief; endured tempta- 
tion, not the mere form. His humanity re- 
quired prayer : yea, He poured out his 
soul with strong crying and tears. Shall 
the servant be above his Lord ? Oh no ! 
I ask not for exemption ; but where is He 
whom my soul loveth ? 

*' The weight I feel may be, 
A proof of love displayed. 
Perchance an angel's holy hand, 
Upon my breast is laid, 
To keep its earth-born throbbings down, 
Lest they might shake my blood-bought crown. 

Oh ! if I only knew, 

That this indeed were so : 
Could I be sure, the heaviness 
Through which I mourning go, 
Were but the promised cross of Christ, 
My pain should be my Eucharist." 

11* 



126 LETTERS OF 

I have often felt, when a cloud has bro- 
ken, and I have seen that my Saviour's 
smiling face had been all the while behind 
it, that I could never again doubt; but 
after a while, another cloud would lower, 
and then my soul would begin to tremble 
just as before. I can endure anything 
while I see Jesus ; but when he disappears, 
my strength departs, and I am left as one 
half dead — not quite dead, for I still have 
His word. This precious lamp gives at all 
times the same steady light ; and although 
I cannot at all times see with the same 
clearness, I know that it is as unchangeable 
as the faithfulness of God, Though sur- 
rounded by difficulties, there is great sweet- 
ness in trusting the Lord, and casting all 
our care upon Him, who never yet said, 
'^Seek ye my face in vain." He knows 
what every member of his body bears,"^ and 
graciously opens his ear of love and mercy 

"^ The sympathy of Jesus is wonderful. Some one 
has said that when Paul was persecuting the Church 
on earth, he trod upon one of the toes of the body of 
Christ ; but Jesus himself, the head of that body, 
felt it in heaven, and said, '*Paul, Paul, why perse- 
cutest thou MeV^ 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 127 

to their cry of distress. There is always 
balm in Gilead ; and the physician there is 
always ready to heal every wound. 

Chastisement is a mark of discipleship — 
of sonship ; ^' for whom the Lord loveth he 
chasteneth, and sconrgeth every son whom 
he receiveth." Had I ten thousand bodies, 
I would cheerfully lay them all under the 
rod of God, if he required it, saying, ''Good 
is the will of the Lord concerning me." 

"^ * ^ I have the witness of the 
Spirit, that my beloved is mine, and that I 
am His, by adoption and grace. I find 
Christ a goodly, satisfying portion; and the 
more I suffer, the more I cling to my God 
and Saviour. Let Him be glorified, and 
his poor worm does, and will rejoice. 
•x- ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

I fear that I have made my letter too 
long. Do not think that I have assumed 
the office of teacher. I have thought that 
you were being tried in some way ; and if I 
have said anything to afford you the least 
comfort, do not desjpise the instrument^ hut 
give God the glory 

It is very kind in you, my dear Madam, 
to indulge me so in writing to you. It is 



128 LETTEES OF 

my daily prayer that heaven's choicest 
blessings may rest on you and yours. 

Please remember me to the Misses . 

I have hoped that they would honour me 
with a few lines ; and then, I could not fail 
to gain instruction and encouragement. I 
am a poor worm, and need all the helps I 
can get, while Christ is the rock on which 
I build. 

Your humble servant, 

Eachel W. GtKEEN. 



Letter XXIII. 

Baltimore^ Sept 23, 1855. 

My dear Friend : — It is nearly a week 
since I received your welcome letter and 
enclosure, which I would have answered 
sooner, if I had been able to handle the 
pen. -J?" ^ ^ 

I must now give the reason for my mis- 
take, in regard to the length of time be- 
tween your previous letters. I always keep 
the one last received, near me^ and put the 



KACHEL W. GREEN. 129 

previous one away. By mistake, that writ- 
ten in March, was laid by, instead of the 
one received in January. This will explain, 
and I hope you will pardon the mistake. 

^ ^ ^ "VYe are glad that you enjoyed 
your summer tour. How much of God's 
wisdom, goodnesS; and greatness, we may 
read in the works of creation; and then, 
how it lifts the heart in gratitude to be able 
to say, " This is the handiwork of my Fa- 
ther. How God has beautified the earth for 
rebellious, ungrateful man !" 

We were much pleased to learn of Mrs. 

's good health. It must be a great 

trial to Miss to be deprived of the use 

of her eyes. How grateful should I be, for 
the kind indulgence of God to me in this 
respect. ^ ^ ^ 

My confidence is often quite strong, that 
God will give you your heart's desire, re- 
specting the little boys. I generally have 
much freedom while holding them up be- 
fore the Lord of Hosts. God is a prayer- 
hearing and prayer-answering God ; and he 
has said, "Where two of you agree to- 
gether, as touching anything that ye ask, it 



130 LETTEKS OF 

shall be done." How positive the promise, 
and how faithful the promiser / ^ -^ -^ 

A few days since; Mrs. F requested 

the Eey. Mr. E -, to call and see if he 

could render me any help. He offered very 
kindly, and yet I could not say, Yes, al- 
though at the time poverty was pinching 
tightly. I have often been asked this ques- 
tion, when there was not a stick of wood in 
the house, nor any money to get medicine ; 
but as yet, I have not been able to overcome 
my dislike of troubling others. 

I was deeply moved at Mr. E ,s man- 
ner, and felt as if I could get at his feet. 

May God bless Mrs. F for thinking of 

me! 

When I consider former trials I cannot 
help praying to be delivered for the time to 
come; yet I submit to the will of Grod. His 
grace has supported me hitherto, and will 
still be sufficient. ^ * -s^- May bright 
beams from the Sun of Eighteousness 
brighten our pilgrimage, warm our hearts, 
and cheer our souls, in this state of trial. 
Christ is the power of Qod, He is also the 
power of the children of God, We are going 
through the wilderness, leaning on the Be- 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 131 

loved. Yes, leaning^ with all our cares, sor- 
rows, disappointments and deprivations — 
our weakness, insufficiency, and helpless- 
ness — still leaning on the Beloved. 



Letter XXIV. 

Baltimore^ Nov, 19, 1855. 

My dear Friend: — Great suffering has 
prevented me from writing sooner ; but 
thank God ! if I cannot use the pen, I can 
lift up my heart in prayer for my kind 
friends. ^ ^ ^ 

Clouds of dark providence thicken round 
my path ; the stormy night of affliction still 
abides with me ; but blessed be God, who 
doeth all things well, faith steers the tem- 
pest-tossed and storm-beaten bark. Faith 
can looh above the providence^ to the pro- 
mise, ^ ^ ^ 

Never is the word of God sweeter than 
when all things appear against me, and 
faith enables me to say, *"'! am not alone. 



132 LETTERS OF 

for the Father is with me." If my weak 
faith soothes almost every moment of my 
painful pilgrimage^ how must it be with 
" those who are strong in the faith? 

Often, I see none but my own family for 
many weeks, and none with whom I can 
speak of the things which lie nearest my 
lieart ; but it is then that my Father com- 
forts the solitude of his child, and his pres- 
ence bids loneliness depart. 

Does my heart want a place of repose ? 
Jesus invites me to his own bosom ! Do I 
want some one to love me ? Jesus is the 
^'friend who sticketh closer than a brother!" 
He is the friend born for adversity. -^ "^f -js- 
I long for the perfect rest of heaven: I long 
to look upon Him who died for me. My 
sweetest moments now, are those spent in 
communion with the Father, Son, and the 
Holy Ghost. I am often permitted to draw 
near to God, as a friend ivith friend. He 
bids me ask him what I will, and I seek a 
chikVs portion, I am trying to live for 
Christ and heaven ; and though everything 
I do bears the mark of imperfection, Christ's 
perfect righteousness covers all. . I am ac- 



RACHEL TT. GREEN. 133 

cepted in the Beloved,-' Thanks be unto 
God for Christ my salvation [ ^ "^ ^ 

Mrs. F has been again to see me, 

and asked to know just what I wanted. I 
stood in need of much, for it has been a 
good while since I have had anything made 
to wear, and I use a great deal of muslin. 
I only told her of Canton flannel, which 
she was kind enough to send me at once. 
She also gave me some money. The Eev. 

Mr. E left me two dollars, about a 

month ago. He is Mrs. F- 's pastor^ 

and a most excellent man. 

You can hardly think how much my faith 
and patience are often tested ; but it is all 
right. The Lord is my Shepherd, My can- 
cer and heart are both very painful. Dis- 
ease grows upon me ; but the end is hasten- 

^ *^ Accepted in the Beloved,''^ This is a most beau- 
tiful and glorious truth. * ^Accepted" occurs only in 
one other place in the New Testament — viz. , in Luke 
i. 28, where the Angel Grabriel said to Mary, " Hail, 
thou that art ' highly favoured P " It is the same word. 
Mary was highly favoured, distinguished in being 
made the instrument of bringing the Lord Jesus into 
the world. So with all the people of God. They are 
distinguished above others in riches and ijovereignty of 
God's grace. 
12 



134 LETTERS OF 

ing, when this restless body will quietly 
sleep in the grave, and my soul be with 
Jesus. 

May the Lord bless you; also the little 
boyS; and all the family. 

Your thankful servant, 
Eachel W. Greek. 



Lettee XXV. 

Baltimore, Jan, 2, 1856. 

My dear Friend : — I hope that you will 
not think me negligent. I have been too 
ill to write. Oh ! what this body suffers ! 
and yet; although I have cause to sing of 
Judgment, I have far more to sing of mercy. 
The goodness of God abounds towards me ; 
in that he gives me that peace, which the 
worldling knows nothing of. If Christ 
speaks peace, it 'matters little what else speahs 
trouble, ^ ^ ^ 

It seems to me, that God displays much 
mercy in keeping us ignorant of the future. 
Did we see the sorrows, sufferings, and 



FACHEL W. GREEN". 135 

trials which, are before us, we would be al- 
most crushed. How wise and good is God 
in all his dealings with us ! 

The Lord Jesus is my strength and life. 
He is the horn of the altar to which I 
hold. I cannot he slain there. He has not 
only reconciled God to me^ hut me to God, 
and to all that is His. His name, his glory, 
his word, his day, his people, his will, — all 
are mine ; for I am Christ's, and Christ is 
God's. What, then, can separate me ? Not 
all the powers of earth and hell combined ! 
If the Son has made me free, I am free in- 
deed ! 

Blessed freedom ! free from the guilt of 
past sin ; free from the power and dor)union 
of sin ; free from all slavish fear of miadj or 
conscience, ^ ^ "^ 

The way to heaven is a constant hattle ; 
but Jesus is both our Captain and our Ban- 
ner. He has promised to make a way of 
escape in every trial; and surely he has 
and ever will be true to his promise. 

The New Year finds me happy in the 
favour of God. My faith of assurance was 
never more clear; my faith of acceptance 
never more unwavering. I do know that I 



136 LETTEES OF 

am the Lord's^ and that He is mine. Oh ! 
that I loved him more fervently^ and served 
him more faithfully. Yet^ blessed be his 
name, my services are accepted in the Be- 
loved. Jesus is my only lioj^e; hut he is 
enough. 

My body often makes me hope that the 
day of my salvation is near ; that deliver- 
ance will soon come ; yet, unless my heart 
greatly deceives me, I am willing to abide 
my good Lord's good pleasure, convinced 
that He will not suffer the flame to burn 
one moment longer than is needful. Oh ! it 
is sweet to feel his will be done ! To see, 
and ivhere we cannot see, helieve that the fin- 
ger of God is mixing every bitter draught. 

Grace can do this, and more. 

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 



Letter XXYI. 

Baltimore^ Jan.l'^, 1856. 

My very dear Friend : — I received your 
welcome letter and enclosure last evening, 
for which I give you many, very many 
thanks. You are indeed kind. I have no 
doubt that Heaven will reward you richly, 
for does not Christ look upon your kind- 
ness, as done to Himself. ^'Inasmuch as 
ye have done it unto the least of these, my 
brethren, ye have done it unto me." 

Yes, my dear friend, religion alone can 
sustain us amid the trials of life. How 
could I bear this weight of suffering, if I 
did not know Christ to be my own Saviour ? 
I cannot look upon the hour, when I was 
free from pain ; yet I do not feel unhappy 
while 1 hear my Saviour say, ^'It is I." 
With the why and the wherefore I have no- 
thing to do. Though mine be a solitary 
way of weariness, it is the way my Father 
leads me : then, it must be the right way. 
Oh ! that I may be enabled to look away 
from every earthly object to Jesus only — 

12* 



138 LETTERS OF 

the greatness of his love, salvation, and 
grace. But we are so earthly^ so prone to 
look dowuj when we should look up to the 
Eock that is higher than we. Yet, al- 
though our carnal nature is ever earth- 
ward ; thank God ! there is that within us, 
which delights only in the heavenly ; and 
we are told that we shall not be put to con- 
fusion, nor be made ashamed of the con- 
fidence we place in Jesus: neither will 
He be ashamed to own his chosen chil- 
dren, -s^- -5^ -^ 

It has often seemed that God would sab- 
due me, not by judgments, as he justly 
might have done, but by mercies^ and 
loving- kindness. He does many things to 
prove us, and to show us what is in our 
hearts, that we may renounce all depend- 
ence upon, or in ourselves. 

God only, knows how much I desire the 
salvation of my family. I often ask my- 
self, if my example has been a hindrance 
to them. I try to mak^ religion appear 
lovely, and God's grace all-suflBcient. Oh ! 
that God would answer my prayers, and 
draw them by his power ; for in the day of 
his power they shall he made willing. I 



EACHEL W. GEEEN. 139 

leave them in His hands. The work and 
power is all his own, yet I will not cease to 
hold them up before the Lord ; and may I 
ask the same of you, for the truth says, 
^' Where two of you agree together, as 
touching anything ye ask, it shall be 
done." 

I have not seen Mrs. F for some 

weeks ; but I must tell you what she did 
about New Year's day. I had but a few 
little sticks of wood, and had just said to 
mother that I must save them, for fear 
some person would come in, when a young 
gentleman knocked at the door, and asked 
if I lived there. Mother told him that I 

did; he then said, that Mrs. F had 

ordered some wood to be sent to me, al- 
ready sawed. Oh ! but I felt thankful ; for 
then, and all night before, I had been terri- 
bly cramped from cold. "Whenever it has 
been possible, I have been obliged this win- 
ter to keep a fire at night. I sleep so little, 
and if only my hands get cold, it cramps 
them severely. Indeed, I have blessed my 
benefactress very often : it was so kind in 
her to think of one so far beneath her. 



140 LETTERS OF 



Letter XXVII. 

Baltimore^ Feb. lb, 1856. 
My dear Friend : — I fear you will think 
rae negligent ; but I have not written, be- 
cause I have not had the power ; yet I am 
often surprised at what I accomplish. I 
think that few persons blacken over more 
paper than I do. If I obeyed every de- 
mand made upon me, I would have to pos- 
sess, not only far greater mental gifts, but 
a strong, healthy body, and two pairs of 
hands. Persons who have never seen me 
(nor can I tell how they ever heard of such 
a poor creature) send, desiring me to write 
on this, that, and the other subject. I can- 
not help thinking them unreasonable ; for I 
am always suffering ; and I am poor, and 
paper costs something. Again, they are 
strangers to me, and must have heard of me 
as a religious character. How, then, can 
they suppose that I would wi'ite on any 
other than a religious subject, even if I had 
the ability ? I do not hesitate about giving 
many a denial ; but I make religious ques- 



RACHEL W. GEEEN. 141 

tions a matter of prayer, and wlien the 
Lord teaches me what to write, I let them 
have it, in His name. I assure you, my 
dear friend, that a package never leaves the 
house, be it letter, or otherwise, but I feel 
humbled ; yet, if God wills that I should 
thus confess Him, I dare not refuse. I have 
examined my heart closely, and believe 
that it is His glory I seek. Is not all 
power His, and cannot He bless the weak- 
est effort ? When I reflect upon his love 
a.nd goodness, I feel as if I could face the 
world to declare his name ; and that if I 
held my peace, the very walls would cry 
out against me. 

I am sometimes asked by visitors, if I 
am suffering. It was thus yesterday, 
when even to answer gave me pain. Why 
am I asked this question ? Must I fill the 
ear with complaint? The Lord keep me 
from it ! I think that which is the greatest, 
should be talked of the most. So, while 
God's love, goodness, and grace far exceed 
anything I can possibly suffer, I dare not 
fill my precious moments with complain- 
ings. Would to God, that I bore my suf- 



142 LETTEES OF 

ferings more cheerfully ! Surely, by this 
time, my lips, my pen, my actions, counte- 
nance and all, should show entire resigna- 
tion ; but oh ! I am so slow to learn of 
Christ! yet God enables me to suffer, as 
seeing Him who is invisible. Faith, pre- 
cious gift of God! can go to Him in loneli- 
ness, lay her head upon his bosom, and 
weep away her sorrows. Christ will not 
cast us off, but press us more closely to the 
heart which bled for us. 

AYhat though the warfare be dark, and 
sometimes doubtful. It is ordained by Him 
who gave his life a proof of his love. He 
numbers my days, my pains, my tears, my 
trials, and my sorrows. All, then, is just 
as it should be — yes, the best it j^ossibly could 
be, since it* is not only ordained by infinite 
wisdom, but everlasting love. I am a home- 
ward-bound pilgrim, travelling to Mount 
Zion — ^'to the city which hath foundation.'' 
ISTeither do I travel alone. My Saviour is 
with me ; and though I am shut out from 
the world and the precious means of grace, 
solitude is not without its sweets. My Fa- 
ther has brought me into the wilderness, to 



EACHEL W. GREEN. 143 

sjpeak ivith me alone?' How often I think 
of the words of Christ, '^ I am not alone ; 
because the Father is with me." Though 
I often sigh for human companionship, and 
feel the want of outward helps, my God 
never fails, 

I have adopted a plan for which I am 
very thankful. I find it a blessed help. It 
is to read the psalms and lessons, appointed 
for each day in the ^^Book of Common 
Prayer." I am sometimes deprived of this 
privilege, on account of the smallness of 
the print in my book; and some persons 
object, and ask, '^Why not read your Bible 
at once?" I always reply, that I can find 
the Scriptures in the lids of the Prayer- 
Book, as well as anywhere else; and be- 
sides, I there have the advantage of the 
Collects. Then again, it seems as if the 
psalm and lesson of each day just suited me 
each day. Let others say what they will 
about it, I hope to use it while I live. 



* It has been weU said, That God gives his children 
private lessons. He never teaches in classes. 



144 lettees of 

Lettee XXYIII. 

Baltimore, March 29, 1856. 

Be assTired my dear friend, that it has 
been impossible for me to write, or the 
pleasant duty ayouM have been fulfilled. 

Jack Frost has shown his attachment to 
me, by kissing my hands, and in the heat of 
his affection, has bitten both my thumbs,^ 
especially my right one, with which I have 
suffered so much, that I really thought for a 
time, I should have the lock-jaw. Besides 
this I have been suffering greatly from 
disease. Oh, what this body passes through 
is only known to my heavenly Father, 
whose goodness and mercy still follow me. 
Unworthy as I am. He for whose sake all 
mercy is bestowed, is fully worthy. I 
thinlc that it will be one cause of joy in 
heaven to find that all we have, here or 
there, is given for Christ's sake. Blessed 

* Tills may give some idea of the intense suffering 
from various causes which, this poor saint had to 
undergOy and yet how cheerful and happy withal. It 
is a lesson for us. 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 145 

be God! for the gift of Jeaus, whose righte- 
ousness is ours for justification; whose 
blood is ours for reconciliation ; whose suf- 
ferings and death are our atonement. He 
is a worthy portion : the satisfying portion 
of the inner man : none else can satisfy it ; 
none else answer its necessities, supply its 
needs, or fulfill its desires ; none else can 
bestow true peace, lasting happiness or that 
solid joy which leaves no sting behind. 
Oive me Christ, and tliough I die for icai.t 
of food or raiment J yet am I rich^ having all 
that is worth one moment of anxious 
thought. How close the connection between 
Christ and the believer ! What power is 
sufficient to pluck us out of his hands? 
Are the stars immoveably fixed ? yea ; the 
whole bright train wonderfully fixed in. 
empty space? Is the earth hung upon 
nothing, j^et its foundations sure ? It is be- 
cause they hang upon His word, who said, ''I 
will help thee ; yea, I will uphold thee by 
the right hand of my power!'' What 
greater pledge can we ask for our security? 
It seems to me that we could not ask a 
more satisfying promise than this ; and this 
is but one gem out of many. But poor^ 



148 LETTEES OF 

weak impotent man distrusts tlie fountain 
of truth. Well is it for us, that we have a 
merciful High Priest, an advocate with the 
Father— the great Paschal Lamb sacrificed 
for us. Look at John the Baptist! See 
his beaming countenance; and hear his 
voice tremulous with love and wonder, as 
with pointed finger, he cries, '^ Behold the 
Lamb of God !" The Paschal Lamb, must 
be a male lamb; Christ was the Son of God: 
he must be without blemish; Christ was 
absolute purity and perfection. The male 
lamb denotes strength; Christ is all power- 
ful, '^able to save unto the uttermost all 
who come to God by Him," and none have 
power to pluck the purchase of his blood, 
from out of his hands — not even, for a mo- 
ment. The lamb must be but one year old, 
offered in its strength : Christ died before 
he was forty, in the prime of his manhood. 
Oh ! wliat travail of soul was crowded into 
those few years, and all for us ! 

Precious Jesus! Why do I not love 
thee, ten thousand times ten thousand more? 
Canst thou indeed cherish so unworthy a 
worm as I ? Wilt thou indeed dwell in a 
heart that beats not more warmly for thee? 



KACHEL W. GEEEN. 147 

Why am I not sick of love ? How is it, 
that I can see, feel or hear anything but the 
silvery music of thy voice ? Bid me away 
from earth, self, sense ; and through the 
glass of faith, clear and unwavering, let me 
gaze only upon thee ! 

Strengthen my wings that I may mount 
and be lost in thee ! Blessed Lamb ! let 
me be owned by thee — then I shall never 
be put to shame. Let me be defended by 
thee — then I shall never be afraid. Fold 
me beneath the banner of thy cross ! Ilelp 
me always to flee for refuge to thy bleeding 
bosom — thy wounds my hiding place ! 

Arise, my soul ! no longer grovel on the 
low grounds of earth. Ascend ! and keep 
ascending, Christ thy way, thy ladder, and 
thy door ! 



148 LETTERS OF 



Letter XXIX. 



Baltimore^ Sept 4, 1856. 

My dear Friend : — Once more I trouble 
you with a few lines^ hoping that yourself 
and family are in good health. My mother 
is not well; she is suffering much from 
difficulty of breathing. My uncle, who 
called on you some time since, is in a dying 
condition. Mother and he have greatly 
desired to see each other ; but it is impos- 
sible. This is a great grief, and what grieves 
my mother grieves me ; the more because 
she knows not the blessing of laying her sor- 
rows at the feet of Jesus, and seeking that 
consolation in the Crucified, which extracts 
the bitterest sting from every trial. 

My sufferings are very great ; but so are 
my blessings. My heavenly Father deals 
graciously with me, not putting more upon 
me than he enables me to bear ; not more 
than he turns into a blessing, far more to 
be desired than bodily ease. To obtain 
ease, we may use all lawful means, but what 
cannot be thus obtained, we must patiently 



RACHEL W. GREEN". 149 

endure, for tlien it bears a very broad stamp 
of God's will. As Grideon took briers and 
tliorns in the wilderness, to teach the men 
of Succoth, who refused to be taught by 
fairer means — so the Lord uses the sharp 
thorns of affliction and sorrow to teach us 
his statutes when we refuse to learn by 
milder methods. God takes no pleasure 
in afflicting his creatures. "We should 
thank him for using the rod, when he de- 
signs such gracious ends, for ^'all things 
shall work together for good to them that 
love God." Blessed promise ! the bitterest 
shall yield the sweetest; out of my sorrow, 
shall spring pleasure ; out of my seeming, 
(for it is seeming) misfortune shall come 
great blessing. All springs from love ; 
love high as heaven^ and hroad as eter- 
nity. "^ "^ ^ 

For some two weeks I thought assuredly 
that my warfare was nearly ended, and 
looked every moment for the messenger to 
bring me the welcome news of my release — 
but he yet tarries. It is delightful to think 
of being near my home, I long to see Him 
whom my soul loveth. Oh ! blessed hour, 
when I shall lay aside this troublesome 

13^ 



150 LETTEES OF 

body, and awake in glory to enjoy the 
presence of Christ forever without a veil to 
intercept my gaze. Yet, I must wait pa- 
tiently till I hear my Father's voice, bidding 
me come np higher." 

Grod grant that you and yours may enjoy 
repeated foretastes while passing through 
this wilderness ; and then, bask in the light 
of your Saviour's smile, and receive from 
his hand your crowns of glory. My love 
to the children. I hope they are all your 
fond heart can desire. Be so kind as to 

remember me to the Misses and all 

the family. I have not heard from Mrs. 

F ; and begin to fear that my letters 

were not acceptable. 

I would not willingly intrude, but I should 
like to hear from her. I cannot cease to 
love those who have been so kind to me, 
and while life lasts, she shall have my feeble 
prayers. God bless you all. 
Your humble servant, 

Eachel W. Green. 



EACHEL W. GKEEJS". 151 



Letter XXX. 

Baltimore^ Nov. 6, 1856. 

My dear Friend : — Please pardon me for 
troubling you. I would thank you very 
mucli to hand the enclosed letter to Mrs. 

F , as I have not her direction. I was 

very glad to hear from her last week. She 
is indeed kind to write to me. I often won- 
der why every one treats me so kindly ; 
but it is the Lord who disposes the hearts 
of all men^ and I thank Him for it. 

My body is still racked by suffering; but 
as a child creeping vp to its parent, so I have 
gotten closer to Christ, He covers me with 
His feathers, and under His wings I can 
trust. The storm, thank God, is passing 
over. 

God bless you and yours, prays. 

Your humble servant, 
Eachel W. Greeist. 



152 LETTERS OF 



Letter XXXI. 

Baltimore^ April 12, 1857. 
My dear, kind Friend: — I would have 
written ere this, bnt I have had the most 
severe spell that I have known for five 
years. I do not think that any mortal 
could suffer more. It is an humbling 
thought, that the merciful Lord should see 
it needful thus to scourge us, that he may 
bring and keep us where we ought to be. 
What a mercy that he will use any means 
to do this ! Did they answer his divine 
purpose, God would rather employ mercies. 
^''Judgments are his strange actsJ'' Did not 
his word tell us this, our experience would; 
for goodness has followed us all our life 
long, and every suffering has beneath 
it the inscription, ^'God is love." Even 
the death of our dear Saviour did not pur- 
chase that love.^ It was the fruitj not the 

* It is wonderful to see what clear, broad views 
Rachel had of the grace and gospel of God. She un- 
derstood that the death of Christ was hut the manifes- 
tation of that which never had a beginning — even the 



RACHEL W. GEEEN. 153 

'price of it ; for if God had not loved us, 
his beloved Son had not suffered. Christ's 
death opened the way through which the 
Father's love flows to us. 

Shall we, then, doubt his love, because 
of trial and suffering ? Oh no ! It may 
be that his ever-watchful eye saw us on 
the brink of ruin, and roughened our 'path 
to heep our feet from slipping, ^ ^ ^ 

Wonder of wonders, the God of glory 
drank the very dregs of the cup, which we 
only taste ; and then, the purity of His na- 
ture made His sufferings all the more bitter. 
But we must not think of this only. We 
must bear in mind the causes^ principles , 
and motives which led Him into them. Al- 
though his sufferings were life-long; al- 
though he was amazed, and very sorrowful ; 
none but the closing scene extorted the bit- 
ter cry — none except the desertion of his 
Father. We know that there was no guilt 
to cause it, and it was more than he could 
silently endure. Is it not so with the mem- 
bers of Christ? What suffering is to be 

love of God. Blessed be God, the Spirit is able and 
willing to lead into all truth. 



154 LETTEES OF 

compared with the hiding of the Father's 
face ? If God smiles, my burden is light 
and my cross welcome. 

In our case, it is the corruption of our 
hearts which hides from us the lovely image 
we would fain always see ; but even in this 
trial, there is love and mercy. I speak my 
deliberate conviction, when I say, / believe 
that trials of every description are luorthy of a 
place among GocCs greatest mercies ; and you 
know, my dear friend, that I am no stran- 
ger to suffering of both body and mind: to 
trials of almost every kind ; one of which, 
I regard as the most bitter that can befall a 
woman. But I believe it is all in mercy; 
and where I cannot see, I will still believe it, 

^ "5f ^ ^ "Jf ^ 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 155 



Letter XXXII. 

Baltimore^ May 8, 1857. 

My dear Friend: — I fear that you will 
think me negligent ; but only my hand re- 
fused. My heart is always ready to obey 
my will in this respect. I cannot always 
write, but I can always (or nearly so) lift 
up my heart to God, although constant suf- 
fering often drags me into a dull, languid 
condition, which unfits me for prayer and 
communion with the Lord. The fire of 
love seems almost extinguished, her altars 
thrown down, and her temple deserted of 
all holy emotion. But it is only seemingly 
so; for Christ will never desert the heart 
that is anxious to detain him as its Lord 
and King. Still, there are seasons, when 
Satan takes the advantage, and attacks our 
weak points. He is a wakeful enemy, and 
T wish I were as watchful over my heart as 
he is. Yet there is one comfort. Sin once 
proceeded from within ; now it is from with- 
out my heart. Blessed be God ! I am no 
longer a servant to Satan, for Christ has set 



156 LETTEKS OF 

me free, and I find his service one of per- 
fect freedom, his yoke easy, and his burden 
light. It is our sins — wherein we are galled 
and hindered — sin that hides the bright 
image we so much wish to see in our hearts. 
How often do I complain, 

" Thou tarriest while I die 
And faU to nothing ; Thou dost reign 
And rule on high, 
While I remain 
In bitter grief; yet am I styled 
Thy child." 

Can it be that I, who have so little of the 
heavenly now, can ever enjoy heaven? 
Can I, who have so little communion with 
Christ here, ever expect to spend an eter- 
nity of converse with Him? Why this 
wandering mind, this coldness, this luke- 
warmness? Oh, how surely would I be 
lost, if in any way, I had to be saved by 
the law of works, or merit of my own! 
Thank God! it is not thus. Christy and 
Christ only, is the sinner's hope and salva- 
tion. Our love to Him will produce obe- 
dience ; and if we love miich^ we will de- 
light not only to do those things which are 
expressly commanded^ but we will seek to do 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 157 

whatever we think will please Him. If we 
love little, (and little is the most,) we will 
obey only icherein we fear to disoley. Oh ! 
for that glad obedience which draws out all 
the soul! How humiliating, when at the 
throne of grace, to be unable to rise above 
ourselves ! What a clog is the flesh to the 
soul ! How it keeps it down to the earth, 
even when we are most anxious to rise 
above it ! 

*' Though I faU, and weep; 
Though I halt in pace, 

Yet I creep, 
To the throne of grace !" 

Yes, and sometimes drag there. Nothing 
discourages me more than this terrible 
coldness in prayer; but, I would not have a 
flame of my own hindling. No, let mine he 
the kindling of the Holy Spirit! It is not 
necessary to have just these feelings, al- 
though it is pleasant. It often comforts me 
to know that I come not of myself to the 
throne of grace. It is not the natural man 
which leads or inclines to pray. It is God 
who draws us to the blood-bought mercy- 
seat. And why ? Not to mock us ! Ob. 
no ! He leads us to pray for mercy and 
14 



158 LETTEES OF 

blessing, that He may ''do exceeding abun- 
dantly above all that we can ask or think." 
Not that we need inform Him; for he 
knows us and our wants, far better than we 
do. Nay, we should never see our poverty 
and emptiness J did He not mercifully show 
them to us. He gives us a sight of our- 
selves , our sickness, and its cure ; our pov- 
erty, and the true riches ; our emptiness, 
and Christ's fullness ; the filthy rags of our 
own righteousness, and the spotless cover- 
ing Christ has wrought for us. 

I remain, dear Madam, 
Your humble servant, 

EaCHEL W. GrKEEJSr. 



KACHEL W. GEEEN. 159 



Letter XXXIII. 

Baltimore^ June 17, 1857. 

My dear Friend : — 1 did not think, when 
I last wrote, that so long a time would 
elapse before you heard from me again ; but 
suffering of body and mind has rendered me 
unfit for anything but pleading with God. 
We have been very near losing my sister. 
She took a violent cold when her infant was 
four weeks old, and was so ill that the phy- 
sicians despaired of her life. Although she 
lives but one square from here, I could not 
get to see her. Oh ! what I suffered, and 
yet, I could not give her up. When they 
told me that her speech was gone ; it seemed 
as if I must die. I suffer very much from 
the enlargement of my heart, even when 
my mind is calm ; but I then got out of bed, 
down upon the floor, and if ever a soul 
pleaded with God, I did ; and he graciously 
heard the voice of my weeping, dried all 
my tears, and calmed my troubled mind. 



160 • LETTERS OF 

I rose from prayer^ assured that He would 
restore my sister ; and although, my mother 
knew nothing of my wrestling with God, 
she told me afteewards that she felt the same 
conviction, at about the same time. The 
next day my sister could see, speak and 
move her limbs ; and she is still improv- 
ing. ^ ^ ^ 

What a glorious privilege is that of 
prayer! To be able to tell God all our 
sorrows, knowing that He bends his ear of 
pity over us ! What blessing is there, which 
faith cannot bring down. "J.ZZ things are 
possible to him that believeth." What a 
liberty is that of the believer ! Would that 
I more and more availed myself of all pur- 
chased hy the blood of Christ, ^ ^ ^ 

Never was my faith more severely tried 
than for the last two months ; yet I know 
that God will withhold no good thing from 
his people. 

We desire to be made whole, but we 
loathe the bitter medicine, and too often 
doubt the skill of the great physician, who 
knows and appoints just what we need. 
Blessed be God! for the gift of his dear 
Son, who perfects^ and then presents all we 



BACHEL W. GREEN. 161 

desire or do^ unto liis Father ; who accepts 
us and imputes the Saviour's perfect work 
to us. What a glorious, full and sufficient 
Saviour is Christ ! Oh ! that my soul^ and 
the souls of all men might flow forth to 
Him ! We will praise his Name^ that we 
love Him even a little ^ and hope that we 
shall yet love Him as we ought. 

We hope that you are all well. Eemember 

us to Mrs. P and the Misses W 

I trust the boys are improving their ad- 
vantages : God bless them^ and their parents. 
May every blessing be yours. 
Your humble servant, 

Eachel W. Green. 



13* 



162 LETTEES OF 



Letter XXXIV. 

Baltimore^ July 22, 1857. 

My dear Friend : — It is time that I had 
answered your kind letter, and acknowl- 
edged your generous gift. I thank you 
very much for both. 

I have had a very severe spell, and am 
still suffering acutely. You may indeed 

say that Mr. D has been kind to me. 

I had a letter from him some time since. 
It is not often that I hear from him, but his 
letters are great treasures; so full of in- 
struction and encouragment ; nor has his 
kindness in other respects stopped. He 
still sees that I get eight dollars a month 
which generally goes for the same things. 
I give mother one dollar for my room ; this 
helps her a little — then two for my washing 
and ironing — then my medicine costs from 
three to four dollars every month ; last week 
it amounted to one dollar and a half. I am 
obliged to have so many different things, 
and my bad spells come so frequently. I 
•cannot eat the food prepared for the table, 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 163 

nor can I expect my mother to get me any 
other kind, so that I am obliged for two 
weeks or a month, to procure on credit, and 
then, when the money comes, it takes nearly 
all to pay up. To owe anything is a great 
trouble to me. I used to do light sewing, 
but for a long time I have not been able — 
our own must be done, as far as possible ; 
but unless you could see and feel, it would 
be impossible for you to know the dreadful 
suffering this exertion causes. Sometimes 
I undertake crochet work, but it takes me 
a long time to get through a piece on ac- 
count of my body. If I could work regularly 
at it, I could do very well, for I can make 
almost any thing in this line. I have now a 
shawl on hand. 

My mother never knows when I need ; 

Why should I trouble her ? Mr. is 

indeed kind to me. It was through him, 
that my bed was sent me six years ago. I 
always feel as if I could not ask enough for 
him and his, in prayer — indeed for any of 
those who have been kind to me ; and I be 
lieve that my prayers will be answered. "^ ^ 

There is nothing that so much makes me 
wish to die, as my dependent condition ; al- 



164 LETTEES OF 

though I believe that whatever I receive is 
given most freely ; and I know of nothing 
which so draws ont my love to God, who 
moves the hearts of his children, with kind- 
ness to this worm. "^ ^ "^ 

God gives me grace, even when most 
sorely tried, (and it is no light trial to be in 
want, without the means of satisfying it,) to 
cast my care on Him, without one anxious 
thought. The body feels, but the mind is 
kept calm — this is a great mercy; indeed 
none ever had greater cause to say, "Good- 
ness and mercy have followed me all the 
days of my life." ^ ^ ^ 

I have been trying to give myself anew 
to God, and believe that He has accepted the 
mean offering for the Saviour's sake. ^ ^ 
My mother is very sick. 



EACHEL W. GEEEN. 165 



Lettee XXXY. 

Baltimore^ Sept. 6, 1857. 

My dear kind Friend : — You readily per- 
ceive tliat death. Las entered our little familjT-. 
Yes ; and lias singled out tlie one we could 
least spare — our dear mottier. Oh ! this is 
indeed a bitter cup. 

The horse got very mnch frightened by 
a kite flying in its face, when coming home 
from market. This so alarmed my mother^ 
that it seemed impossible for her to get over 
it. She had been very weak for some time, 
but a cough now set in, with great oppres- 
sion of the chest. We did not then know, 
that her heart was diseased. She had suf- 
fered with it at times, but we thought it 
only a nervous affection. Oh! how she suf- 
fered from Sunday, until Friday, the 14th of 
August, when her soul departed as calmly 
as an infant falls asleep. 

Oh! my dear friend, I thought my soul 
would have gone too ! Can it be that I 
have no mother ? Alas ! my bleeding heart 
tells me that it is too true. If I were in 



166 LETTEES OF 

healtli, I could hardly bear it ; but in my 
condition, none can supply her place. You 
cannot think how much I miss her in my 
lonely hours of suffering ! 

Is it possible that I can only be saved in 
the hottest fires? Humiliating thought; that 
since a young girl, God has seen it needful 
to plunge me in the deepest suffering and 
sorrow f -^ -^ ^ 

I have suffered a twofold trial ; for the 
enemy has come upon me with hellish force. 
I seem to have lost my Saviour; as well as 
my mother — I cannot weep ! My brain is 
burning ; my heart burstings and my intel- 
lect on the borders of destruction. -J^- -^f ^ 

Eeligion is indeed a glorious treasure! 
"When do we feel its preciousness so much 
as in seasons of deep sorrow ? Ah ! then 
we know the value of trust in God. Trials 
often throw a light on Holy Writ, and enable 
us, by the power of God's Spirit, to see 
truths we never saw before, and discover 
beauties we never knew were there. 

Our blessed Lord has asked us, ^^ Are ye 
able to drink of the cup that I drink of?" 
and, we answer, ^'We are able," but when 
it is presented, we loathe the bitter draught. 



RACHEL W. GREElSr. 167 

Yet He who sees the end from the beginning 
knows that it is needful. 

•5f ^ -S^ -X- ^ -Jf ^ 

Will yon pardon me, if I. ask you to add 
a mite to your other many kindnesses ? I 
stand responsible for fifty-three dollars, 
which I must pay before I can have rest. 
I will do what I can with my hands — but 
it is not much ; only a little crochet work, 
now and then. 

I have made the same request of Mrs. 

F . Mr. sent me twenty dollars 

yesterday. / wept for joy. It was more 
than kind, and leaves me only thirty-three 
dollars to pay. ^ ^ ^ 

The cavities of my heart are very much 
enlarged ; indeed, all my diseases seem ag- 
gravated. I try to be calm, but confess 
that I cannot. Death looks very near. 
Your humble servant, 

Eachel W. Greejn-. 



168 LETTEBS OF 



Lettek XXXVI. 

Baltimore^ Sept. 15; 1857. 

I tliis day received your kind letter. 
What shall I say, to you, my dear friend, 

and to the Misses for your great 

kindness. I did not expect such a deliver- 
ance. Why am I so poor at thanks, when 
I feel so much ? Never before did I so wish 
to expose my heart to the eyes of others ; 
and yet, I can only say God bless you (and 
he will;) ^^ a hundred fold in this life, and in 
that which is to come." 

I cannot tell you how painfully I miss 
my mother ; and then, the only source of 
comfort in her death is denied me. There 
are many things which cause me to hope; 
but if I had even one word of assurance that 
she had found forgiveness through Christ, I 
could be glad that she was at rest. 

I can but leave it all in the hands of Him, 
without whom, not a sparrow falls to the 
ground, and who delights in mercy, not in 
judgment. -5^ * -^^ 



RACHEL W. GREEN*. 169 

Although I have much cause for sorrow, 
the Lord gives me also, great cause for 
thankfulness. Last week I proposed to my 
brother and sister, that we should have 
family worship. They readily consented, 
but I felt the cross heavy, for I knew that 
the prayer would devolve on me, and as 
they like extempore prayers, I greatly felt 
my deficiency. However, I sought strength 
where alone it can be found ; and although 
I felt sure that my brother (who is of a 
lively turn,) would do, or say something, I 
determined not to draw back, for the sake 
of my feelings, or the suggestions of the 
enemy. While I was reading, he would 
now and then say something so dry, that I 
could not have kept my countenance, if the 
cross had been less heavy. "When prayers 
were over, he slipped out of the room in- 
stantly ; I afterwards learned that he was 
weeping. He has attended the church to 
which I belong during the week, and last 
night went forward to be prayed for. His 
convictions of sin are deep and pungent, 
which I think is generally the case, when 
very moral persons are brought to see their 

necessity of a change of heart ; when their 
15 



170 LETTEES OF 

sandy foundation of morality fails, and they 
find themselves exposed to the wrath of 
God. 

My sister also, seems to have started anew 
for heaven. Long have I prayed for those 
near and dear to me, by the ties of nature ; 
and now, when I had almost despaired, God 
is graciously answering. The tears long 
since bottled in heaven are now dropping 
in mercy. -5^ ^ ^ 

I was obliged to lay by my letter, on ac- 
count of a severe nervous headache, and to 
day received yours of yesterday. I am so 
well known to the different carriers, that if 
my name only is on the letter, I am sure to re- 
ceive it, even though it should be otherwise 
misdirected. -^ ^ -^e 

My brother has not yet found peace in 
believing. It is now three days since he 
could either eat or sleep ; indeed, he is 
quite sick from agitation of mind. I was 
in the same way for nearly a month, and my 
dear mother would say, " Eachel you must 
stop going among the Methodists; they are 
setting you crazy." It was not that how- 
ever ; it was because, I saw my true charac- 



EACHEL W. GKEEN. 171 

ter, and was •unwilling to be saved on gospel 
terms. 

The freeness of salvation, and the siviplicity 
of the way, are repulsive to the natural man, 
'who would fain hring somdhing to recom- 
mend him to Christ. 



Letter XXXVIL 

Baltimore, Nov, 15, 1857. 

My dear kind Friend: — We hope that 
yourself and family are well. Health is a 
precious boon amid the trials of this wilder- 
ness warfare ; but like almost every other 
blessing, we do not appreciate it, until de- 
prived of it. "^ ^ ^ 

Oh ! what a season of trial I liave had 
since the fourteenth day of last August, 
when my mother was taken from me. As 
to outward things, I may truly say, all 
things are against me ; but blessed be my 
faithful covenant-keeping God, while the 
hody is made to suffer, my soul can rest in 



172 LETTEES OF 

the Lord. Suppose that I had everything 
needful for the wants of my body, and not my 
God ; what a pitiable wretch would I be ! 
But now, though all else fails, I can turn 
within, and find the sweet consolations of the 
Comforter: not always indeed hj feeling; 
but always hj faith. I know that all things 
are appointed by Him who cannot err. Oh! 
for grace to hiss the thorn as well as the flower ; 
to love the bitter as luell as the sweet. Not 
the thorn as a thorn; nor the hitter as hitter ; 
hut the WILL that wills them. In those things 
which are pleasant, how readily we discern 
the hand of an indulgent Father ! Why 
not then in those things which are painful ? 
All is tended by the same love; all di- 
rected by the same hand. Does an earthly 
parent only love his child, when he lets that 
child see him smiling? Far from it ; never 
does a kind parent love his child so truly 
as when he sees it needful, and chastises it. 
Unfcil I am lost in God's will, it is my 
prayer that he would use any means which 
will help me towards this end. Let me 
have anything but sin. God is my witness, 
that I do not seek exemption from trial, hut 
grace to hear it, to the glory of God. 



EACHEL W. GREEN. 173 



Letter XXXVIII. 

Baltimorej March 4, 1858. 

My dear Friend : — I would have answered 
your kind letter, and acknowledged the 
welcome enclosure before this, if I could 
have done so ; but it found me in a 
paroxysm of pain, and soon after I had a 
haemorrhage of the bowels which the doctor 
thought would end in death. May God in 
mercy spare me from another such attack ! 

I do not know what has come over me. 
I feel without God, and without hope in the 
world. The state of my mind is better ex- 
pressed by Lam. iii. 1-18, than anything 
else. When I think how earnestly I prayed 
for my father and mother — not that their 
lives should be spared, but that they might 
seek a saving interest in the blood of 
Christ, and see themselves descending the 
dark valley, and death coming to them open- 
ly. When I think of this, and then re- 
member that not in one case only, but in 
both death was allowed to wrap around them 
his cold arms, before we thought of danger : 
15^ 



174 LETTEES OF 

I cannot reconcile these things. God has 
said that he ^^willeth not the death of a sin- 
ner," and that he will answer prayer ; yet 
I prayed, agonized with Him^ and still they 
were permitted to sink into a stupor, and 
thus to die. ^ ^ ^ 

I know the thought will occur to you, 
that I have mistaken the nature of prayer ; 
that the desire, to be accepted, must be ex- 
pressed in unison with God's will. But it 
seems to me, that their salvation must have 
been His will. 

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

Oh ! what would I not give to feel once 
more that peace I have known ! Oh ! for 
an entrance into that heart of love where I 
could repose ! My whole heart is wrong, 
and a temptation such as I have never 
known besets me daily. I have no power 
to arise and shake from myself the dust. 
Prayer seems a mockery, and the heavens 
brass. My heart filthy and corrupt ; and 
yet, if you were to ask my reigning sin I 
could not tell you. 

Ungrateful worm that I am, I loathe my- 
self, and yet do not amend. Please pray 
for me, that God will not leave me to my- 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 175 

self, but remove the mist, give me hearty 
repentance, and true faith in Christ — the 
sinner's only hope and refuge. 

You may judge how welcome your lib- 
eral gift was, when I tell you that I spent 
during the week, at the druggist's, four 
dollars and fifty cents. If ever I felt 
thankful, it was for your assistance ; and 
yet, it caused me pain. I saw through it 
all, God's goodness, and felt so unworthy 
of it. 

That dear saint, Mrs. F , has been to 

see me. She brought me two bed-gowns 
from Philadelphia, and gave me a dollar 
and a half. Her kindness has made her 
dear to my heart. 

I hope that yourself, children, and grand- 
children are well; also the Misses . 

May Grod bless you all, and keep you under 
the shadow of his wing, is the earnest 
prayer of 

Your humble servant, 
Eachel W. Greei^. 



176 LETTEES OF 



Lettek XXXIX. 

Baltimore^ March 21; 1858. 

My dear Friend : — Your kind and sym- 
pathizing letter came duly to hand. I 
hardly know how to thank you. Words 
seem such empty thingSy compared with 
what the heart feels, for your generous 
assistance. Oh! how great the goodness 
of God to his poor worm ! 

When I read your letter, I was more 
sensibly touched than I have been for some 
time. I felt a tenderness which has long 
been withheld. I cannot tell how thankful 
I felt for it. ^ ^ ^ 

Truly, as you say, Christ is the sinner's 
only hope. Oh ! that he would grant me 
the seal of his adoption ! That He would 
give me His Spirit to witness with my 
spirit that I am his ! How I long to serve 
God once more from love! It is now a 
slavish fear with which I discharge my 
duty. I seem to have lost sight of God, os 
a God of mercy. 



RACHEL W. GKEEN. 177 

My letter is long in being finislied. My 
whole nervous system, from head to foot, 
has been kept so disturbed, that I could not 
write. Last night, a feeling of deep re- 
morse came upon me, which wrung my very 
soul. I fell upon my knees, or rather, on 
the floor, and felt as if my heart would 
break with weeping. I was sorry for sin, 
and mourned the absence of that God I 
desire to serve and love. Although I 
feared that my emotion would bring on an 
attack of my heart, I felt thankful for it, 
because I knew it must be the work of the 
Spirit of the living God. 

But I am not yet cut loose from earth, 
and am doubting the purity of my affection 
for Christ. This doubt is as a sword to my 
soul. I wonder if there ever was such a 
prone to evil heart as mine. It seems to 
me, that of all the enemies we meet on 
Christian battle-ground, self is the most po- 
tent. It twines imperceptibly around all 
our actions, words, desires, and motives; 
yet when we unmask this enemy, and stand 
it out in its true colors, nothing has so des- 
picable a visage. Oh! I want power to 



178 LETTEES OF 

sink myself^ that Christ may he exalted all in 
all. Nothing less can satisfy me. The 
half-way Christian will not do for me. If 
God has not my whole heart, I cannot be 
happy. Never did I so feel the necessity 
of Divine strength, never was I so sensible 
of my own weakness. Oh ! I beg that you 
will pray for me. 

Again, I thank you for your kindness. 
I wish you could know how many real ne- 
cessities it enables me to get. My appetite 
has quite left me, and what little I can eat 
costs much more than if I could take that 
prepared for the table; and (I know not 
why,) every medicine ordered appears 
to be of the most expensive kind. This, 
with many other things, often reduces me 
so low, that I do not know what to do. 

May God bless and reward you. 

Your humble servant, 
Eachel W. Geeen. 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 179 



Letter XL. 

Baltimore, Oct 11, 1858. 
My dear Friend: — Through the super- 
abounding mercy of my heavenly Father, 
I am again permitted to address you. I 
feel that it is indeed all of mercy. A most 
unworthy recipient I feel in my heart of 
hearts to be. Oh ! that I could so feel it, 
as to be kept low at the feet of Jesus. It 
grieves me to think that my gratitude to a 
fellow-creature, for favours received, should 
be more heartfelt than it is to that God 
who has heaped benefits upon me all my 
life long. Thank God, all is given for His 
sake luho is worthy. Jesus! oh that pre- 
cious name! what can it not do for us? 
How can we sink with such a prop ? 
Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable 
gift! 

•5f ^ 4f -Jf ^ ^ 

Though this life be strewn with sorrow 
and privation, many are the pleasant fruits 
that we are permitted to taste by the way; 
and Jesus himself has spread 2. feast for us. 



180 LETTERS OF 

I hope to partake of this (the Holy Com- 
munion) on Saturday next. 

My dear friend, if you receive this before 
eleven o'clock on that day, will you join 
with us at the throne of grace ? That is 
the hour, when if living^ I shall partake of 
the rich banquet. 

** Himself at birth our friend he made ; 
Our food at this his festal board. 
Himself in death our ransom paid. 
Himself in glory, our reward." 

*'Do this in remembrance of me/' re- 
membering that He left the homage of an- 
gels and archangels, for the revilings and 
scorn of men : left the throne of heaven for 
the garden of Gethsemane: the bosom of 
the Father for the cross of shame! Ee- 
membering his death and burial, his resur- 
rection and ascension, his intercession, and 
all for us ! 

Oh ! wonder of wonders ! Oh ! mystery 
of mysteries ! Oh ! love surpassing the 
mind of man to conceive ! such as could 
only rest in the bosom of such a God as our 
God! Christ is yi^5^ the Saviour the sinner 
needs. He came to save the lost, to cure 



EACriEL W. GKEE^sT. 181 

the sick, to heal the wounded, to release the 
slave, and to give life unto the dead. 

Thank God ! the long night has passed, 
and day has broken over my soul !^ What 

* It is pleasant to see that tlie state of *' spiritual 
depression" and gloom which, had clouded poor Ra- 
chel's mind for some time past, was here graciously 
dissipated. We could say many things on this sub- 
ject, for it is a very practical one, but the limits of a 
note forbid. Suffice it to say, the great remedy is to 
"consider Jesus." There is consolation in his expe- 
rience suited to every phase of the Christian course, 
from the cradle to the grave. But even if Rachel had 
departed in this state of gloom and depression, it 
would not in the slightest degree have impaired her 
acceptance before God : it would only have proved that 
she was called to have " fellowship in his sufferings," 
even in death. 

Job Throgmorton, a Puritan minister, who was de- 
scribed " as being as holy and as choice a preacher as 
any in England," is said to have lived thirty-eight 
years without any comfortable assurance of his spiri- 
tual condition. When dying, he addressed the Rev. 
John Dol — '* What will you say of him who is going 
out of the world, and can find no comfort?" What 
will you say of him," replied Mr. Dol, ** who, when 
he was going out of the world, found no comfort, but 
cried, *'lfy God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" 
This prompt reply administered consolation to the 
troubled spirit of his dying friend, who departed 
within an hour after, rpjoicing in the Lord,'''' 
16 



182 LETTEES OF 

sorrow like unto tliat sorrow wliich extorts 
the cry, '^ Where is He whom my soul 
loveth ?" I believe that the sensible pre- 
sence of my God and Saviour were never 
so precious as now, after long months of 
seeming absence. Oh ! those were months 
of deeper anguish than I thought a mortal 
could endure, and retain reason. I am sure 
that I love God all the better for what I 
have passed through; but oh! may it please 
my dear Saviour to spare me such another 
season ! Had ever any one such abundant 
cause to be thankful that Christ is our In- 
tercessor as I ? 

^ "^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

I keep very poorly indeed. I was in 
agony all yesterday, and last night, with 
my cancer and back, but this evening I am 
better. My heart and breast are also very 
bad. These things make me constantly feel 
on what a little thread my life hangs. I 
have not quite overcome the fear of sudden 
death ; but I know that God will do right, 
and take me home in the test, because in 
nis own way, I desire to have no choice, 
but leave everything with Him. 



EACHEL W. GKEEN. 183 

May God's blessing rest "apon you and 
yours. 

Your humble servant, 

Eachel W". Geeen. 



Letter XLI. 

Baltimore, Oct 21; 1858. 

My dear Friend : — I write noW; tbat you 
may know that your gift came safely to 
hand. For tivo days, I had been laying my 
temporal wants before my God, and He 
answered my cry (as he has often done be- 
fore) through yourself. Unless you were 
placed just in my condition, (which God 
forbid you or any of yours ever should be,) 
you could not realize how heavy my ex- 
penses are : but all things are in the hands 
of Him who will send relief when He sees 
best. I think that I never was so severely 
tried, as during last August. I was very 
much straightened, and knit a tidy for a 
friend. She took it; but although she 
knew well how intensely I sufiered while 



184 LETTEES OF 

making it, she never paid me for it. I then 
concluded to write to a very dear friend 
and state my condition. To do this cost 
me no little straggle; but my letter remains 
unanswered. This was the second time 
that I had asked help ; but indeed, let my 
condition be what it may, I do not think 
that I will ever speak of it again to any 
one. Oh ! you do not know how much ra- 
ther I would lie here and work. There is 
nothing so painful as to have to speak of 
my wants. 

Pardon me for having said so much upon 

this subject. If you. see Mr. , tell him 

I would like very much to have another 
letter from him : his letters are so profit- 
able. 

I am glad that you spent such a pleasant 
summer. I have long wished to see the 
Falls. I think it must have an ennobling 
influence on the mind to behold that great 
display of God's handiwork, wisdom, and 
power. If we look at a tiny blade of grass, 
how much we see of His greatness ! What 
then must it be to look upon those mighty 
waters, which could toss man abouc as a 
pebble ? Yet, that pehlle is the master-iDiece 



RACHEL W. GREEJS-. 185 

(if I may so speak) of God's workmanship, 
and cost the blood of his dear Son ! 

I am sorry that your cousin is so ill. I 
hope that she knows where to find rest of 
mind, if not of body; and that she is able 
to love and welcome the hand of her Fa- 
ther, though it shake the frail tenement 
down. I trust that she hears the voice of 
Jesus, saying, '^Fear not, it is I!" and feels 
that all tilings, even this, shall work for her 
good. ^ -^ ^ 

16* 



186 LETTERS OF 



Letter XLII. 

Baltimore, Nov, 30, 1858. 

My dear Friend : — You should have 
heard from your great debtor before this, 
but I have been too ill to write. I haye 
had the most severe spell with my heart 
that I have ever known. ^ * -^ 

I do not think that my outward appear- 
ance changes much, except that I am get- 
ting very thin ; but I know that disease is 
increasing greatly, and my sufferings are so 
severe, that my flesh from head to foot is 
sore. I feel that my time is drawing to a 
close, and my physician, also, thinks that I 
cannot last much longer. 

If suffering in itself could purify the 
soul, how pure mine would be ! but to do 
so, it must he sanctified. It is among the 
^^ all tliings^^ which "shall work together 
for our good." It is the discipline meted 
out by a kind and indulgent Father. 

I have often thought how great the love 
must be, which causes that God, who so 



RACHEL W. GREEN. 187 

deliglits in mercj; to send us suffering wlien 
He sees we need the stroke ! There is no 
position so painful, but there is more mercy 
than pain in it : more to praise for^ than to 
complain of, I am slow to learn these pre- 
cious lessons. Oh ! that I may have grace 
to bear all, as becomes one professing to 
follow the meek and lowly Jesus." Glory 
to God! they are only for this life: they 
cannot follow us to perfect rest. ^ ^ ^ 

It is a poor love indeed, that cannot bear 
a burden : especially for Him who suffered 
for us unto death. We talk of love — where 
are its fruits? We call God, Father — 
where is His honour? We call Him, 
King — where our loyalty ? 

May he make me to love Him indeed ! 
He is my shield and hiding-place ; my cov- 
ert from the storm ; my sure defence ; my 
high tower ; and what is he not ? There is 
nothing that can make us happy, which we 
cannot find in Christ. Blessed be his 
name! he will bring us home to his hea- 
venly kingdom, seat us at his own right 
hand, and put on our heads the crown of 
glory. 



188 LETTERS OF 

^' How can I die while Jesus lives, 
Who rose and left the dead ? 
Pardon and grace my soul receives, 
From Christ, my exalted Head." 

There is no death to the Christian. When 
these clay walls succumb to the blast ^ we do 
but enter into life eternal, 

I do hope that yourself and family enjoy 
good health, and that yon daily find the 
bright image of your Saviour sinking 
deeper into your soul. Oh! that God 
would bless you and yours, and at last 
bring you all to His heavenly kingdom^ is 
the prayer of 

Your humble servant, 

EaCHEL W. GrREEN. 



rachel w. green. 189 

Letter XLIII.^ 

Baltimore^ Jan, 1, 1859. 

My dear Friend : — I thank you for your 
kind letter and generous assistance. I would 
indeed be ungrateful, not to pray for you, 
while I have the power, even if it were not 
a pleasure; and I feel quite sure, that 
the time is not long, before my prayers will 
be exchanged for praise; faith for sight; 
and hope for full fruition. 

I cannot express the suffering which I 
am called on to endure. I thank God that 
I do not use the word endure^ unmeaningly, 
for I am enabled in a good degree to ^' endure^ 
as seeing Him who is invisible." I cannot 
draw a breath, without intense suffering. 
To breathe, is like tearing out breast, back, 
shoulders and side. I can speak but little. 
I feel like one standing before a cannon 
blindfolded, expecting every moment that 
it will be fired ; but thank God ! my mind 
is calm and peaceful. 

* From a notice in one of the public papers of Balti- 
more, we found that she died almost immediately 
after writing this, her last letter. 



190 EACHEL W. GEEEN. 

What can we not bear with a saving in- 
terest in Christ ? I would not, if I could, 
exchange it -for a strong and active life of 
one thousand years with the wealth of the 
world at my command. 

To know that when death comes we shall 
see Jesus face to face ; and be out of the 
reach of sin and Satan ; where nothing de- 
filed or defiling can ever enter, — should be 
enough to set the soul on fire with desire to 

depart. 

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ 

This was the last letter received from 
this pilgrim saint. Enclosed in it, was a 
slip of paper on which these words were 
written, '^ Good-hye, I am going home,^^ 



* ' Hark they wliisper, angels saj. 
Sister Spirit, come away ! ' ' 



Icrjifl iu fmm. 



^Brfttt Sfii]! 



** And now in his eternal presence blest, 
She at Ms feet her crown immortal casts. 
And gladly owns, with all his ransomed saints, 
'Himself hath done it P— all from first to last." 



Slori] 



BE TO THE FATHER ; aihd to the SON, 

AND 

TO THE HOLY GHOST ; 

AS IT WAS IN THE BEGINNING, 

IS NOW, 

AND EVER SHALL BE, WORLD WITHOUT END. 



'^mtn nnti '^mtn. 



Deacidified using the Bookkeeper process. 
Neutralizing agent: Magnesium Oxide 
Treatment Date: May 2005 

PreservationTechnologies 

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